Rockem Sockem

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**Rockem 25 Preview:**

For the last four years now I said this in the opening of the preview:

“Onto the preview. This is the most wide open draft and the most wide open MLB has been in all our years. No consensus anywhere, could be 100% wrong with my views below and I would not be shocked if the team I pick to finish 12th wins the whole thing; it is going to be a fun year of baseball.”

I think we are starting to see a bit more Law and Order when it comes to MLB. The young upstarts are starting to settle in, but things can still vary greatly.

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Below be my predictions yo, but this could all go sideways. I truly believe anyone can win (well, almost anyone). If you are in the bottom fret not or maybe take it as an omen that I know nothing.

As always I am just dealing with your team as of the draft with my takes; I can’t keep track if you picked up Johnny Hotnuts or slipped the tongue to Malcolm McVultureSave. I am not going off past managerial performances either…some of you have taken August off in previous seasons. I am also doing this before I read your responses to my questions, any connection is just serendipitous. In Draft Order…

//__**Moon:**__  //

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

The theme of my draft was "Run it Back". 4 of my first 5 picks (Judge, Chourio, Turner, Suarez) are returning to the squad. Is that the best recipe for a repeat? Hardly. Could we be Canada, I'd say yes. Venezuela, maybe not so much.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?

Not a lot to be excited about. Team is pretty granola. Seemed like everyone I was targeting would go right before me. Was really hoping Alonso made it back to me and not sure Chourio is a fair replacement or Josh Naylor a few rounds later to fill the 1B spot. Somewhat excited about Nolan McLean, but that will just make watching the Mets even more stressful. Maybe Misiorowski will throw strikes and win a Cy Young.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Not Mikes. Woof. Seriously, dare I say Tom? Lots of balance with proven players and young upside. Is this his year? Probably not, but nice for him to have some hope before it all falls apart.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Maybe it's because we are all a bit older, wiser and calmer?, but every stop on this trip was memorable. From dinner on Thursday, BBQ brunch, brewery pregame (Pinball, THC and euchre), WBC, Ferris Wheel bar (and even the upstairs club stop) and post draft beer garden - lots of smiles, laughs and good times.

5) What is Family Style?

Family style is when I show up to a city with a place to sleep, a fridge full of beer and every meal and activity planned for me. Many props to the Commish and all those who make these trips easy and worthwhile.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

House money

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__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

The reigning champ gets the first pick? What was this draft order rigged in the early morning set-up’s of both Moon’s Summer Party and Winter Brunch….err why no, of course not, why would you even ask that?!?! (Thanks for the cash Moon!).

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Jay is looking to be the first Rockemite to win back to back since 2018 when Birdie won his third title in a row. We all know how great 2018 was, //Avengers: Infinity War //was the biggest hit movie…which I still haven’t seen, Drake "God’s Plan" was the biggest hit song, which I have never heard…wait, did Covid completely wipe out my memory of 2018?!??

Anyways…back to 2026. Moon’s offensive bats are familiar faces as he tries to bring the band back together from last year.

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Judge, Chourio, Turner, Suarez…I think he had all those guys, I am too lazy to check. He has a good combo of speed and pop and if Buxton and Seyia are healthy (big if) and Konnor Griffin is the real thing, he could be in the free eats again like McNally with the leftover BBQ in Houston.

Then again his staff is filled with question marks, but looking at the full league, I will be saying this often in this preview. Is this Mclean’s year to become a dominant #1, is Gausman cooked? Will Misorowski’s arm fall off. Will Moon get a job before the all-star break? All may be doubtful, but not impossible. I think the upside is certainly here, but there is a lot of uncertainty certainly makes certain sense?!?!? A fun team for sure, just not sure it is built to win it all…

Prediction: Middle Third - Moon is playing with house money since the Catalina Cup is currently sitting on Eeets a Boat in Southwest Connecticut, but he has a legit shot.

__//**Bull:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

Family Style Scale: Vin Diesel

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Adley Rutschman in the second to last round. You shitting me?

Also excited to get Snell and Cole on a snake.

Wyatt Langford could Eat a Dick. Should have gone with one of Moon’s picks. Suarez or Naylor. My 3B is ass. So probably Suarez.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Tom’s team. Pick after pick was solid….in the early round just seemed like the perfect guys were falling at that spot at the right time.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Did you go on a Ferris Wheel?

Or the 6 minutes in the Hot Tub.

5) What is Family Style?

An important question one should ask any waitress that happens to come by your table.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Last night….I left it all on the field

- Jeff Winston

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

He almost broke a Ferriswheel, but can Bull break into the free eats category and win the league again? Anything is possible, even Biz Markie coming back from the dead to take his taco order in Houston.

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Going with Shoei is a layup and honestly he can win the league for you on his own (I know from personal experience [[http://rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com/2024|in case you all forgot]]). The rest of his offense is pretty imposing. On the power front, Alonso will be big, Langford, Lindor and Robert Jr. could be nice speed/pop combos and Nico can steal some bases, but seriously with the GOAT going 70/70 this year what more do you need?

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El Toro Blanco’s arms are fortified by the best bullpen in Rockem, Miller, Hader and Megill will give him the lead in saves, low whip and K’s. Starters like Peralta, Eovaldi will do the same, just switch saves with wins. Two returning arms could be huge as well with Snell and Cole. Welp, looks like we will all be ponying up to feed Bull yet again…

Prediction: Top Third, with a great set of arms and Ohtani, El Toro Blanco will be Ferriswheelin’ into the title race.

__//**McNally:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

E… for Everyone… who hasn’t won yet. 😐

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

I'm happy about grabbing Adell and Torkelson. I think they'll both have solid seasons.

I probably drafted Woo and Brown early… lots of pitching out there.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Venezuela.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

The walk home Friday night through multiple dance parties in gas station parking lots with SPD and BK was both exhilarating and terrifying! Scantily clad ladies looking for something to do, music pumping… but NO selling of beer after midnight, ya animals!

Watching those dudes play the most epic game of Jenga was pretty amazing.

And of course, riding the ferris wheel with Bull.

5) What is Family Style?

It’s when Jeff Winston comes to your mom’s house for dinner.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Tavares…

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

The one guy who went out of his way to say he __//would not//__  miss a day on this trip got his flight canceled Thursday and had to arrive Friday afternoon, because of course. Let me take a moment here to thank all of you for putting up with everything to keep this league the best in the world. The fact we still get to spend time together, drop so many in jokes, all the while creating new ones, is amazing.

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I usually butter up people then clock them in the jaw, but Donnie’s team doesn’t look so bad. On the offensive side he went with well rounded guys and got quite a few of them. Witt Jr., Carroll, Merrill, Happ, Doyle. He may need some extra pop but bats like Goodman, Bregman (in windy Wrigley) and Adell. All of them could provide that extra whomp to push him towards the top.

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Pitching is a bit more of a gamble, but then again, so is riding a ferris wheel with El Toro Blanco. Woo and Brown are the up and coming 1-2 that could be magic, and they may have to be with Glasnow’s injury history, Flaherty’s awful spring training and wait…did Zac Gallen actually sign for a team? On the plus side, he drafted 2 closers and the world didn’t end (yet)!!! Diaz and Fairbanks will keep him mid pack in saves…for the first time ever…hmm will that lead to a first title ever for The Water Ghost?

Prediction: Middle Third - I don’t think he gets quite there, but I could see him eating for free if things shake out.

__//**Vig:** //__

I think my draft went as well as Chuck Norris did in the 80s. A lone wolf mcquade level of goodness. But like the 80s, certain things need to happen for it to work and not be a cheesecake

I think Matt McCain could be my steal of the draft.

Not really sure what pick I hate? I just would have liked a third closer.

BK team

I enjoyed drinking hard ciders and listening to tunes while hearing you guys chatting and chilling. I got destroyed that night haha

Family style is like Carmines. Big platters of food that everyone picks from and shares.

I apologize for not making it but we WILL rock and sock together SOON!!!

I want Nola in May!!!

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

Big Jay was stuck doing voice over work for Japanese Tentacle Po….oh wait just read his text again, I guess it was a voice over for a video game?!? You playing the role of King Slender tubby?

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When it came to the draft we can all be thankful he at least woke up. Vig was upset he had to draft Soto, which is a problem I am sure the next eight guys in the draft would have loved to have had. Along with Soto, he seemed to go a bit power heavy. Devers, Springer, Manzardo and of course the Big Dumper. I think this right here is the key to his team, can Raleigh deliver a bomb that clogs up the HR category or merely squirt out a few.. I don’t know what I am going for here…poop joke…

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While I may have short changed Vig’s O (Neto is solid, as is Bellinger) I don’t think I can minimize his arms, because if I was going for a fecal funny with Raleigh, his arms are just stinky. Sanchez is going to have to do a lot of heavy lifting here as Wheeler will be eased back in and Eury Perez is interesting but far from established. Vig’s Pen isn’t quite mightier than the sword, as Bednar and Hoffman are the only two fully established closers…

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Prediction: Bottom Third - Perhaps Vig won’t be in the wood paneled Rockem cellar…but he might be close.

__//**BK** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

I was just glad to get there after the de-icing pit.

Let's call my draft slightly iced, but not in the pit.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Stoked to get Crochet in that end of the 2nd round….

but that led me to take Perdomo in the 5th where I should have taken another pitcher.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

I liked Tom's navigation of the back snake.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Many, but standing in line waiting for the Truth was an unexpected, exciting, free zen to it.

5) What is Family Style?

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That's a lot of meat.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Much love. That's a lot of years.

Coming to bring the boat back to its dock.

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

Always stressed, always walks away with a solid squad from the draft…he is the Champ for a reason. A few CG’s on the bench last year or he would literally be the champ now, but poo-tee-weet…so it goes…

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C-Town seems to have stocked a fairly good mix of solid and risk, perhaps a bit more risk this year than most, but with J-Ram, leading the charge all categories should get filled in, Alvarez for Pop, Turang for speed, Perdomo for lots of booze.

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It is great that this pick caused BK to drink, then the rest of the league followed suit. A record 4 sober rounds in before Perdomo kicked down the alcoholic flood gates, a great pick memory to have before alcohol erases it from our minds. Back to real baseball, after that pick I think Busch and Stowers are legit, but otherwise his O may have some question marks, Butler, Okamoto, Edwards, Vientos? If they come out swinging, BK is in the money easy…

Well, maybe not THAT easy. Crochet is a hell of a late 2nd round grab, and I dig on Kirby, but is Sheehan going to be the real deal Holyfield? Is Gore more than a walks whore? Chapman, Abreu, Yates, Dominguez COULD constitute a nice back end…

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…but is BK’s team vulnerable this year?!?

Prediction:Top Third. No…c’mon, it is BK.

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__//**Winston** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On the BBQ sides offered at Truth BBQ scale, my draft is the pickled vegetable Giardiniera situation. You offer me pickles and I say yes. Every time. You toss this stuff in as well and I get legit next level excited. Then I eat one of the little red peppers (with seeds) and realize shit’s literally on fire. Good fire, bad fire? John Blaze or Jim Flame? Time will tell.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Pure stoke for Kurtz. Mollywhop Bing Bang.

James Wood is a lotto ticket. (Scans roster and realizes whole team is compiled from lotto tickets.)

Win or lose, I am legit excited to watch my guys this year. I should have drafted 3B and closers earlier (at all).

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

In no particular order- Moon, BK, SPD

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

The dinner was great. Anytime we can get around a table like that. That’s my version of heaven. To boot, Moon ate an oyster! Friday was an epic day. Waiting in line for BBQ. Roof deck hanging in between BBQ and the brewery - playing tunes, idly chatting, people coming and going, Moon dozing, Tom sitting in direct sunlight for 3 minutes at a time, running group commentary on the construction site.

5) What is Family Style?

Family Style is a style of kung fu, as referenced on the intro to Wu-Tang Clan’s “Ain’t Nothing ta Fuck With” on their debut album Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers). It’s a lethal combination of nagging, pestering, nitpicking, and continually running passive aggressive commentary intended to cause your loved one to question their own reason for living and eventually leading to their total and complete submission to your awesome superiority.

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“I see you’re using an old style. I wondered where you’d learned it from.”

“You know very well, it’s yours too.”

“I had forgotten. Will you show me?”

Family Style!

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Love. (And get the pickles.)

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__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

While I dream of always having a team like BK’s, this year Winston drafted a team that if the universe tilted a little bit would be mine, sexy young and lots of upside….don’t google that, no Epst*in List here.

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He went right after it with Elly, the ultimate first round wild card…quick question, where did he end up ranked to end last year? Too late, 28, I thought he was actually worse, so if that is his down year…look the fack out.

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His power comes from out west with Kurtz, Soderstrom and Pasquatch, while Wood and Abrams give him Avg and Speed from DC. Barger, Keaschall and Caglianone are young with almost no track record, but a wonderful pedigree, but like racehorses, they may need a few laps (years) of seasoning.

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The youth movement continues with the arms as Bradish, Burns, Lodolo and Yesavage could all be in the all-star game…in 2030. I kid, because they are kids. I don’t want to hurt children's feelings but c'mon, have they graduate high school yet?!? Maybe that is why Jeff went young, putting those parenting skills to the test. He will also certainly be testing the waiver wire for closers as his bullpen, outside of Kenley, is wonky at best.

I know from experience when you go all sexy and young (in fantasy baseball, just fantasy baseball) you usually in trouble and are the one footing the bill.

Prediction: Middle third. Some risks work out, some don’t, end up in the middle.

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__//**Fatone:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

Pretty good. I think I have a chance but I am concerned my offense may struggle.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Stoked about Pena in the 9th, nothing stands out as should have changed but I'm sure there's a few.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Vigs team, that fuckin guy!

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

The family style dinner was fun and delicious, nice choice Winston.

5) What is Family Style?

It's a group dinner, you order a bunch of food and everyone shares, family style! Doesn't everyone know that?

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Great time in Houston. So glad to make it and missed those that couldn't. Look forward to getting together again soon. Hopefully dinner during the world series. Good luck y'all.

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__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

Fatone was oh so close to winning his first title last year, but then things slipped away, like half the league's hair. It was great that he could draft with us in person, but did he compile a competitive team….

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With a few teams this year (specifically Fatone and Birdie) I think one or two picks can really swing the results. For Fatty I see it as Mookie Betts. If Betts’ last season was really a fluke due to some flesh eating Japanese virus, then Fatty got the steal of the lifetime in the 4th round. Pairing him with Acuna, PCA and Marte, makes for an incredibly well rounded squad. If he has really fallen off a cliff, I like this team a hell of a lot less. Steer Diaz and Montgomery on the CI tip leaves power to be desired so he better hope Mookie is back to his old self.

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Fatone went back to practicing his No Closers policy, will it work? It hasn’t yet, so there is no reason to think it will, but his Starters are fairly legit. A top four of Framber (his bouncing boy) Ryan, Luzardo (could be a steal) and Pivetta are as deep as anyone’s, maybe if Imai or Weathers move to the bullpen he can grab some SV’s. As it stands though….

Prediction: Bottom Third - Great to see you in person Fatty, take this kick in the nuts home with you!

__//**SPD:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of flight cancellation/delays/reschedules due to crazy weather and a stupid government, I would rate my draft 30 minutes on the tarmac in Houston waiting to officially arrive. Not ideal, but could be a whole hell of a lot worse with the whole trip/season in front of me.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Stoked for Cam Schlitler. I really thought one of the Yankee fanatics in this league was going to draft him in the second round, and I bet Mike considered it the way his drafting went…I think Schlits is the real deal Holyfield.

Changed: I wanted Imayi, but kept passing on him and felt like no one would draft him at all, silly me. Should have taken him instead of Clay Holmes.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Read the preview!

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Another great trip in the books, hot tub (when it worked) hanging, beer pong, dinners, the game which we all chilled for, the quickest draft ever (I am not looking up specifics) and most importantly getting to spend quality extended time with all of my close friends.

Tons of good times, but walking home late at night from the bar and briefly experiencing a whole other subculture of Houston was eye opening and wild. Underwear clad big booties, bad hip hop booming out of every speaker, parking lots and gas stations filled with SOMETHING just waiting to happen in a bad/good way. Was intense.

5) What is Family Style?

I am still confused about it. We should have asked our neighbors just down the street in Philadelphia.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Love You All. Now Read the Preview!

Commish’s Take: Guest Preview this year conducted by none other than the reigning champ of Rockem Sockem, Jay Moon!

It was just a normal Tuesday afternoon in March as I spam applied for the same jobs as Tom on LinkedIn when I finally got the call up (text) from the Commish. I’ve dreamed (dreaded) of this moment for over two decades. This is what I’ve been training for (thank god for the Wiki and ChatGPT) all my life. Am I ready? Hell no. Will I be judged and mocked by the rest of the league? Of course, but when you get the opportunity you step up to the plate you swing for the fences. (My actual high school stat line was 2 for 20 with a single, HR and 9K. (A regular Mark Reynolds). Thank god for volleyball.

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(For once) is right

Shawn’s decades belated request got me thinking so I started doing some research on the beloved and highly skimmed previews and predictions. Per the Wiki previews started in 2005 with the first commish preview by Eben (not documented on the Wiki, but probably rolling around in our email archives). Over the last 21 years we have seen guest previews from the following Rockem members:

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Note no guest preview in 2020? How does he choose? Is it past champions? Clearly not (see Tom, Vig and McNally. And yes Eben has won the boat). Literary pedigree? BK and Eben lean yes, but not leading the pack. Racist jokes? Music references? Dare I say baseball knowledge?

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Irregardless (that's a word right?) of how he chooses it leaves Bird, Fatone and myself like kids in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x4SGvjErZA|RIF - Reading is fundamental]] commercials from the 70’s who go to the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ-8IuUkJJc|Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can Read Good]]. I say why not us? Well, now that I have entered the hallowed halls of guest previewdom I have to put the Commish on DEI notice for the guest previews.

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Few other tidbits and factoids I found Overall the Commish has predicted 10 of the 12 Rockem members would win excluding himself (how noble) and McNally (no comment).

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Bird leads the way on 1st place predictions with 4, but when SPD picks the hearstoppers he is most accurate at an average finish of 2.3 including last year where he nailed the first place prediction. #humblebrag. He was also spot on in 2016 and 2018 picking Bird. In the years that BK won he predicted 3, 2, 10, 2, 2 finishes. Always a good horse to bet on I would think.

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His average error rate (predicted rank - actual rank) is 4 for first place prediction and 4.3 for the actual winner. Feels pretty good but I’ll let Bird run the model for his guest preview. His worst prediction years came in 2007 and 2024 with a total error rate of 19

2007 Commish Prediction - Fatone - finished 10th

Actual Winner - Bird - commish predicted 11th

2024 Commish Prediction - Bird - finished 12th (ouch)

Actual Winner - SPD - commish predicted 9th (no shame in picking yourself, jinx!)

What does it all mean…nothing. I guess I’ll get to the draft portion of the preview.

Official Guest Preview:

Drafting out of the 8 hole SPD stacked the offense and corner infield early with some familiar and likely candidates who are not currently incarcerated.

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Vlad (the double Canadian) and Harper are no longer young but still very sexy picks who provide an elite power foundation. Wander Franco err. Junior Caminero ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_Jl5WFQkA|Canyonero!]]) fills that young and sexy void that gets Shawn through the day between High Life’s. After picking him in the 6th round last year the Commish goes back to the well in the 2nd this year. Could be aggressive with other proven bats still out there, but a repeat performance is highly likely. Question? Will the Trop be as friendly as Steinbrenner Field?

Rooker (4), Bichette (6) and Altuve (8) bring some even keel to the offense and then some sneaky later round veteran values in Trout (13), Ozuna (19) and Correra (21) could really make this an offense to be reckoned with.

SBs will rely on Kwan and Caballero which will keep him out of the basement in the category but not by much. The only options are to trade (do we still do those?), waiver wire (slim pickens) or punt (best choice IMO).

I’d like to note that Shawn drafted a catcher, Alejandro Kirk, in the 17th round which I believe is the earliest ever. At 5’8” and 250 lbs they might want to start calling him “Little Dumper”. Overall the offense is solid up and down with limited risk and high upside.

Starting pitching is the key to this team's success. Some top level proven aces and aces to be (see Cam Schlittler), but it could all disappear in a weekend when injuries come a knocking for deGrom, Ohtani, Rodon and Woodruff.

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If 2 or 3 of these guys stay healthy along with Cam and hopefully Holmes it could be a dominant staff.

Iglesias / Pagan in 9th and 10th were a decent attempt to gain saves on teams that should be competitive. Dennis Santana is presumably the closer in Pittsburgh, but will there be save chances to be had?

Final Thoughts Shawn never disappoints when it comes to the draft. His balance of baseball acumen and passion for making things interesting usually construct a team that can easily take him to free eats or leave him dwindling down at the bottom, but it's always a fun ride just like a ferris wheel in Houston. This year is no exception but I’m leaning closer to the former. I think he dodges the injury bug and gets solid performances from his line up and staff all year.

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Top Third I know, I was as surprised as you.

Prediction: Top Third, Thanks Jay, I think this team has free eats written all over it. Which means I will probably stink out the joint.

__//**Wilson:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

I rank it "The 1990s." They seemed trite and unremarkable at the time; but as time passes they look pretty good.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

I was happy to land Skenes with the 9th pick. Usually in this league there are 8 pitchers off the board by that point. And I should have drafted Caballero instead of whoever I chose, thinking he would slip another round.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Shawn's. He drafted Caballero, Holmes, Trout and Muncy, in each case just as I was about to draft them.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Mike and I both drafted remotely and not only (inexplicably) inaugurated formal wear; but somehow ended up in the same shirt and tie combination and color scheme. This strange turn made it feel like draft day, even from a thousand miles away.

5) What is Family Style?

Tapas only for larger groups.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

I am sorry I was not there for the draft, as I missed seeing all of you and those wonderful incidental side conversations. I will see you at my dinner.

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

Neezer drafting remote, you were missed, but also, we knew who you were going to take. Nats, Rocks, Yanks and too large of a side order of Catchers...wait he didn't draft 4 of them?!?!

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Let’s flip the script and start with the pitching as Wilson has the best top to bottom staff in the league. Skenes, Yamamoto, Fried, Senga with Munoz, Duran and Helsely in the Pen. For a league with a lot of questionable pitching, Neezer cornered the market. But will it be enough?

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It better be, because his offense looks to be ancient, broken down and weak. I mean we are talking wimpy wimpy wimpy. Tatis Jr. sure, but then…Contrearas? Is Ben Rice really for real? Giancarlo as a starting OF? Stanton famously said this off season his elbow hurt him when he opened a bag of chips. I could see The Full Monty’s team struggling with the proverbial bag of chips that is Rockem as well.

Prediction: Bottom Third - Maybe he finds hitting magic, but for now the pitchers need to carry on wayward son.

__//**Mike:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of 1-10 on how sure I am that Spandau Ballet sings the song “Real Life,” I give my draft a 10. It was perfect. I don’t know if I will win, but I came in with a plan and executed that plan accordingly.

Even the Jazz Chisholm Rd 1 pick wasn’t impulse or desperation. I felt like I could build a team with any of the three outfielders that were in or around that area - Julio Rodriguez, Kyle Tucker, Fernando Tatis Jr.. Any of those three plus Jazz was the start that I wanted, but I couldn’t do it without Jazz. So I took him first, sent the rest into the snake and whomever the snake spit out would be my #1 OF. Very, very happy to have gotten Julio.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Stoked for Andrew Abbott in Round 17 - he fell forever!!!!?! SP1, Opening Day for the Reds, and hopefully another strong year. Could have taken Jac Caglione instead of JJ Wetherholt? But seeing as how JJ just got promoted and is batting leadoff to start the season, I am not sure I would have changed anything at all.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

BK reigns supreme!!! As always. Also, keep an eye on those galloping Stallions. And I think Donny Mac’s pitching could be sneaky best-in-class.

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Coming up with the Atlantic City/Tropicana background bit. And walking back through all of the great memories attached to that year – Custom T-shirts on boardroom chairs, “You’re Clooney? My ass,” that sweet sweet limo brown, and, of course, “Just a case and a half for the entire ride back to New York?!? That’s only like three beers a peach?”

I can’t remember if Satellite Team was born in Atlantic City or Las Vegas?

5) What is Family Style?

We are all sharing what shows up. A type of Family Style known as “Ordering For The Table” can encompass an entire meal or just apps. Ordering a chicken parmagiana for the table, as an appetizer, is still a maneuver that gets talked about consistently in certain circles.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

I feel like I have said this before but… ties. We should wear ‘em on draft days. So it’s not just Eben and I looking super rad, all gussied up. Should do a proper Rock’em Draft, Kentucky Derby-style, one year. It would be tremendous.

__//**Commish’s Take: ** //__

Rockem Zigs, Ryniec Zags.

I don’t think anyone could predict who Mike was picking in any round this year, will it work out? Who knows, but I think that tie Mike was sporting may have cut off some blood flow to the brain…

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I mean, Jazz says 50/50 and if he does that, Ryniec will look glorious, but 1st rounder? Odd, but he did get J-Rod and if you flip that, it makes sense so no harm no foul, I foul...then you look to the other bats. Yikes, outside of Roman Anthony are…umm? Yucky? Langoliers? Polanco? Garcia? Vaughn? I am not sure there is enough meat on that sandwich…

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That must mean he went pitcher heavy…slow down Sparky. Mike went safe with Webb and Castillo 1-2, admirable, then a lot of scratchoffs bought late night at a Houston Gas Station with Abbott, Chandler, Baz and McClanahan…OK then his bullpen is stacked right? Easy tiger...Ooe confirmed closer with Cade Smith, and two live arms with Abner and Whitlock…Mike Zags, Rockem Zigs.

Prediction: Bottom Third - could be proved wrong, but I see Mike pawning the tie he wore to the draft to pay for dinner.

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__//**Bird:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

7. Felt like I had a great draft but now feel like I did when we went into that bar(club) thinking it was the one with the ferris wheel and left with the bouncer laughing at us because we were in the wrong place.

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

Feel like I got Bohm at a good value spot. Questioning Freeman, hoping he can give me some good stats this season

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Fatone's

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

Seeing USA at the Classic!

5) What is Family Style?

Anytime Jeff orders for the whole group!! Everyone will leave full!

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Good Luck gents.

__//**Commish’s Take:** //__

Drafting next to Birdie and his robot overlord was a cool experience because I don’t think we overlapped once with picks. His AI says he is winning the league by a ton, and I am last place so we will see who is right and who takes over the earth in 10 years.

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I feel Johnny went safe with Tucker and Henderson 1-2 but can’t fault him there. I said it next to him at the time so I might as well write it here, I think his team comes down to Austin Riley. If he is back-back, then I think Bird could be in contention, especially if O'neil Cruz also comes to life and puts it together. I watched him a lot last year and unless he was playing completly through injury, he looked cooked. We shall see.

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On the pitch side of things, there is pedigree for success, but also a bit of zaniness. Like most staffs in 2026, Ferrari’s is a mixed bag, is Gilbert healthy? are Ragans and Cease right after last year’s blips for both? Gray and Nola still got it? I do like his Bullpen, because the air bender is going to bring Queens a championship this year, right? He will do the same for Birdie, right?

Prediction: Middle Third - More out of not knowing where to put him, and I hate AI. I think I could also be loud wrong about this team.

__//**Tom:** //__

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of food that we had in the house* with 1 being a snack-sized bag of Cheetos and 10 being Costco frozen pizza, I think my team is a Voodoo doughnut.

*Not counting leftovers

2) One pick you were stoked about, one you should have changed?   

I was not expecting Skubal to fall to me so I was psyched about that. I think Seager in the 7th could be big too.

I probably reached for Simpson when I took him but such is the life of the snake.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Gotta go with The Champ here. I know that Perdomo pick will put him into an emotional tailspin until about 2029, but if he comes close to last year's production, look out!

Worth mentioning that Eben only drafted two catchers. THAT'S impressive!

4) What was your favorite experience of the Houston trip for those who went, for those who didn’t attend, what was your favorite part of draft day?

I was enjoying the non-stop beer pong without actually playing beer pong. You mofos are gross.

5) What is Family Style?

If we are referring to literally going out for a meal with your family, then for the Gallaghers it means grandma is dead.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Oh, competitors? Is that what they are? Eat my dust, losers.

//__**Commish’s Take:**__  //

Riding the back end of the snake can be a rattling experience!

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I will see my self out….(see’s self back in).

Thank you, Thank you. Tip your bartenders the way that Tom tipped his cap to Canada, rooting for them deep in the heart of Texas. While that didn’t work out, his draft looks like it might have. Leave it to Rockem to have picks and players drop to the snake…

On the bats side, Gallagher has a nice mix of pop and avg with the likes of Schwarber, Olson, Machado, Seager, and Teascor. Duran and Simpson add some speed to the recipe while a lotto ticket like Benge could/would/pleasegodlethim do both. (LGM!). Things seem pretty safe and reliable on the offensive front with room for growth.

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A big 1-2 of Skubal and Sale could be devastating, while Palencia and Estevez give him a solid foundation in the Pen. If Strider and Alcantara come back to 2024, then this could be something really special. Hmm…is this FINALLY Tom’s year?!?

Prediction: Top Third - Perhaps…perhaps it is….

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For those of you still reading…this is a reminder, I got last year’s prediction correct! What does that mean? Absolutely nothing! (//Editors note//: //nice breakout by Jay in the guest preview of predicitons!//)

Predicted order of finish:

12. Mike

11. Vig

10. Fatone

9. Wilson

8. Bird

7. Jeff

6. McNally

5. Moon

4. BK

3. SPD

2. Bull

1. Tom