Rockem Sockem

This page is read only. You can view the source, but not change it. Ask your administrator if you think this is wrong.

**Draft 21 of Rockem was like true 21st birthdays. Started out lovingly with a breakfast half the league joined, then had some wholesome fun with Winston Walters burgeoning business and then fell apart in shambles at the end wth drunken confusion and mayhem. Oh well..I guess that’s [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vIOmY5o86g|growing up]].**

**{{https://media0.giphy.com/media/LMVyyF0rtfsISnLKbM/giphy.gif?nolink&480x480}}**

**Onto the preview. This is the most wide open draft and the most wide open MLB has been in our 21 years. No consensus anywhere, could be 100% wrong with my views below and I would not be shocked if the team I pick to finish 12th wins the whole thing; it is going to be a fun year of baseball. **

**As always I am just dealing with your team as of the draft with my takes; I can’t keep track if you picked up Johnny Hotnuts or slipped the tongue to Malcolm McVultureSave. I am also doing this before I read your responses to my questions, any connection is just serendipitous. In Draft Order…**

**SPD**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?**

**On a scale of baseball cards sold by Winston outside of the draft I would say my draft was Fleer 1989. Kinda weird, kinda cool, kinda sexy with the gray pinstripes. Could end up with a Griffey Jr. Rookie Card and eat for free **

{{http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0041/3017/7073/products/12001_598851c9-b39b-4eb8-97d5-4a440a1f4abc.jpg?nolink&220x300|cdn.shopify.com_s_files_1_0041_3017_7073_products_12001_598851c9-b39b-4eb8-97d5-4a440a1f4abc.jpg}}

**or just as easily a Billy Ripken F*ck Face and be in the basement:**

{{https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/416UR-pVuhL.__AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_ML2_.jpg?nolink&209x300|images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com_images_i_416ur-pvuhl._ac_sx300_sy300_ql70_ml2_.jpg}}

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   **

**Always have to reach at the snake head, but there were so many rounds when guys just kept dropping like flies before they got to me so it felt like a lot of my choices were made for me. Not a lot I am super stoked for or super upset about. Very happy to have India at 2b, and I think my season rests on Wander Franco’s young shoulders. Suzuki could be a steal and I may have to buy a Franmil Guardians shirt at some point and yeah and then there is:**

**{{:votto.jpg?nolink&350x623|votto.jpg}}**

**On the downside, could have gone Baez over Lindor or Wheeler over Nola (shoulder injury news day of draft scared me off), I also don’t want Bauer on my team, F*ck Face indeed, but he was the right pick then and I am OK with what I got. If I am saying one I regret, I completely spaced on Kershaw and would have taken him over Darvish. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with?**

**Read the preview! Oh wait, you are doing that now… **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players health?**

**So during his stint in LA, JV had an off night of body guarding, acting and hanging out with Fishbone. He went to his local barbershop for a shave down. While the towel was on his face the neighboring chair became occupied with one Artie Moreno who wanted his mustache touched up:**

{{https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Arte_Moreno_cropped.jpg?nolink&250x406|upload.wikimedia.org_wikipedia_commons_2_25_arte_moreno_cropped.jpg}}

**Turns out, thugs busted in and held up the joint, Jay went all out, smashing crooks and saving the wealthy mustachioed owner. To show his gratitude Moreno gave Vig Mike Trout’s personal number and told him he would be “feeling great” in the year 2022 but not before. It all started there….or maybe that was a Luke Cage on Netflix episode and the setting was Harlem…I am confused…either way, whatever…**

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be?**

**I am all for traveling. I am thinking of one of the two Spring Training spots and I got no real desire to do Arizona, but we already did FLA. I would do anything with my vote being the Tampa area. There are 3 spring training sites (Yanks, Phils, BJ’s) close and the flights should be pretty easy for all…but NOLA is always lurking…just saying…**

**6) Anything to say to your competitors?**

**Read the damn preview!**

**Guest Preview: This year…The Champ is Here! This year BK will be delivering our eulogy: **

**The Commish and I recently caught Stephanie Fish at the Palladium in Times Square (Commish Edit: glad that SAMANTHA Fish made such an impression) **

**{{https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e4/f0/c5/e4f0c512a8f86ec8a724cab1d6bd01c5.gif?nolink&480x662}}**

**She was actually opening for some reiteration of Allman, but clearly the headliner. Shredding guitar at elite live level, power-sultry belting, subtle-sexy waggle on stage, tight jumpsuit. So I'll use song titles of hers as a guide - not original, but apropos to my mindset:**

**Starting Pitching: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEDgMsI7fd8|"Kill or Be Kind" ]]**

**{{https://c.tenor.com/oyIpFYXwQ68AAAAC/samantha-fish.gif?nolink&498x286}}**

**Starting with SP because the SPDs may hinge on this. **

**A Nola ERA bounce-back, Darvish at his close-to-best, Strasburgh semi-healthy, and an non-incarcerated Bauer could all legitimately be SP1 material if they are kind, but could kill our patriarch's hopes. I think he'll get enough out of all of them to be closer to the former than the latter. **

**Mclanahan and DeSclafani are great arms in the magic pitching lands of SF and TB. They're a nice hedge if one or two of the others fizzle out. **

**Bullpen: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5us4AeZzS24|"Somebody's Always Trying"]] **

**Trinen demotion hurts here (yes I wrote this late). Rogers and Soto should close, but managers and committees have left us all (most) trying to find an arm on the waiver wire to garner SVs right through September. **

**{{https://i.pinimg.com/originals/10/8b/e7/108be703cc57c989cb6c7468800a122f.gif?nolink&480x585}}**

**Youth Movement: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bZV4_ytzX4|"Hello Stranger" ]]**

**SPD's penchant for the young ones…no…well…only in fantasy…no.. I mean…he likes young athletic men in uniforms that perform…. Smart ones this year. Franco and India can flat out rake and Suzuki, Vaughn, and Jesus will be fun to see rise this Spring. **

**Power: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8LDzth5NQk|"Loud" ]]**

**LOTS OF POP: Soto (sigh), Stanton, Olson, Franmil — plus the 25-30 potential of youth movement, Swanson, and Lindor. That's a lot of meat! **

**{{https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/1SMAAOSwqDdhqSnq/s-l300.jpg?direct&|i.ebayimg.com_thumbs_images_g_1smaaoswqddhqsnq_s-l300.jpg}}**

**Speed: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHGKgKChPqA|"Bitch On the Run" ]]**

**{{https://i.makeagif.com/media/10-07-2017/00_UsV.gif?direct&}}**

**SBs are a bitch. Will have to hope for Gimenez and cumulative build up with help from… **

**Francisco Lindor: ** **[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s42ewyu4C_8|"Money to Burn" **]]**

**{{https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b9/8f/e7/b98fe71db4b742bb8eef6e3c49f90e61.gif?nolink&488x864}}**

**Good year would be huge for NOLA. **

**Coming out of draft with great pop, very high upside arms, and solid floors - leaving SVs and SBs being weakest spots - likely have the Commish thinking of erasing asteriks talks. As with every team, things need to fall right, but even if things fall a little right center against the shift, we may be heading south toward a cajun food dinner. Where he won't eat any meat. Or anything. **

**Top 3rd**

**Commish’s take: Thank you Champ. My thoughts? Like usual, half of the gambles work out, half fail and I am stuck in the middle with all of you. Prediction: Middle Third.**

**Winston:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**On a scale of the size of an order of wings, where the scale goes from 50 wings to 50 orders of wings, I’d rate my draft about 40 orders of wings. **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Getting Acuña in the 2nd felt like the kind of luck that could result in a formidable team. Coming out of the draft with 2 middle infielders who aren’t likely to be starters feels like an obvious miss… **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**BK and Bird. Shocking, I know… **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZwLG7yJg1g|This is how. **]]**

**{{https://media2.giphy.com/media/3e7Sf15soiVkk/giphy.gif?nolink&384x223}}**

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**Spring training in Florida. Somewhere warm dammit. **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**Truly one of the great pleasures of my life. Love you all.**

**Preview: **

**I am just happy this grandfather lived long enough to see his grandkids and hang out with them:**

**{{http://rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com//lib/plugins/ckgedit/fckeditor/userfiles/image/previewpics_1_.jpg?nolink&400x555|rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com_lib_plugins_ckgedit_fckeditor_userfiles_image_previewpics_1_.jpg}}**

**Wait…that is Jeff?!? What happened to the sneaker wearing, $100 hip hop -shirt pimping punk from Poughkeepsie?!? Oh well we all grow up and Jeff is happy with life and has to be happy with his first two picks. A cream dream of Acuna and Vlad. This alone can win him the league, but here’s hoping Acuna stubs his toe and his rehab is elongated. **

**Continuing with his bats, the car crashing Polar Bear adds more power as does Tyler O’Neil. After that the whiskey kicked in a bit and Jeff went fishing, will Jo Adell pay out? Is Bobby Witt Jr. fo’real? Is Oneil Cruz a 12th round pick or will he be in Triple A all year? Nah, Maybe and It's the Pirates, so yes. That said with this top Heavy lineup he may not need much else.**

**On the arm side he seemed to get two economical 1-b type aces in Perralta and Webb, Since I was targeting both I can’t sh!t on them too bad..they could deliver decent returns at a semi reduced price. I am more confident in them than Manoah, but both Houck and Cease could be steals, seen some wild predictions on both where they take huge jumps…or dumps, dealers choice. Not much in the pen but Jeff is always on the wire early after wiping up after those huge daughter dumps. Play “Drop It Like It’s Hot” for Old Man Winston’s club this year… **

**{{https://media1.giphy.com/media/avkW4UabDdJFS/giphy.gif?nolink&500x363}}**

**Commish Prediction: Top 3rd. Too much star power bats and value arms not to be shining around free eats and the title. **

**BK:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**On a scale of my usual boring team, I will call it mighty boring, efficient, and Tatis. **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Keeping with the ho-hum, I'm stoked to have old friends JD Martinez and Nelson Cruz back in Town. Change Sanchez…just dirty (and ulcers already building owning Met closer. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with?**

**I think Bull's team will find itself in the mix, again. **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**I asked Walter Mercado about the channeling. He said, "Jay se siente bien." Didn't quite answer my question, but I felt a deep calm after….Then he called me aburiddo. **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be?I **

**Somewhere we can stay without having to fight…and real baseball involved would be cool to do again. **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**I'd say I'd like the boat back in the harbor, but… **

**Preview:**

**Continuing the star power thread from Winston's preview, how would you like Turner and Tatis Jr. as your middle infield!? That could be BK’s ticket to a championship, or Tatis could get in another motorcycle accident before I finish this sentence and his career is done-zo. You gotta love that sexy possibility though and even before Tatis gets back BK has a hell of a squad with Albies and Arenando supporting the old reliables JD and Nelson Cruz. Avg is covered with the likes of Verdugo and Benintendit while SB’s are there with France, Tapia and Lopez. Very well rounded from the champ. **

{{https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7a/81/b0/7a81b0ae96eddea28814ae132f2bf884.gif?nolink&300x169}}

**Same as his pitchers really. Woodruff dropping to 3rd round could be a huge blessing and if Alcanatacatatara and Urias-tract infection are up to last year's highs, or even improve, BK will be hotter than Sam Fish’s solos. Diaz on the future World Champ Mets anchors a just OK pen, but we are all kinda screwed when it comes to SV’s this year…without Tatis this team isn’t sexy at all, just solid, with Tatis, this could be a cup winning squad… **

**Prediction: This is the champ we are talking about, Top 3rd. **

**Fatone:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**I had a fuckin rockin draft, on my own, but thanks to Eben and Tom mainly for keeping shit together. I’m winning this shit this year. **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**I actually got a chub about picking up a couple Closers this year but then had instant regrets about sonny gray, don’t think I can hold onto that prick for very long. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**You out of 3 ain’t vlad, I can’t get those lyrics out of my head every time I see that name. Love it and hate it so much! **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**Some players?!?! That guy must be a roving scout, traveling all the time while we think he’s working and sleeping in after banging couches and running late to all the drafts and dinners but he’s really putting in the extra draft work and getting some serious player deets. **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**Spring training in AZ bitches **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**Love ya and missed being there in person. See you all soon**

**Preview: **

**{{http://rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com//lib/plugins/ckgedit/fckeditor/userfiles/image/previewpics_4_.jpg?nolink&400|rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com_lib_plugins_ckgedit_fckeditor_userfiles_image_previewpics_4_.jpg}}**

**In the draft carriage house at LIC Bar, Moon, Bull and Birdie came up with the idea of just bagging pitching and winning the league by winning all hitting categories. Little did they know that all the way across the country Fatone was putting that practice into action, not drafting a pitcher until the 10th round..and he broke his long standing practice of no closers as he snagged Pressly and Jansen. We will stick with his arms first and while not star studded, Montas, Gray, Gallen and Valdes are OK with wild cards Sandoval and McKenzie as possible jump up candidates. It might not be enough but at least he isn't completly tanking arms. **

**Where this cowboys team really shines is obviously in the bats area. He has a lot of power speed combo guys led by Jose Ramirez. Arozarena, Marte, Polanco should give a mix of SB's/HR's while Alvarez and Bogaerts are just killer bats without the wheels. Castellons can bang in Philly while Hayes may be a break out player if he ever gets off the Quad-A Pirates. Fatty has a sneaky good squad this year…how sneaky? How good? Will winning Rockem be crossed off his bucket list? Very, Very, Quite Possibly.**

**{{http://rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com//lib/plugins/ckgedit/fckeditor/userfiles/image/previewpics_3_.jpg?nolink&300x649|rockemsockemfantasybaseball.com_lib_plugins_ckgedit_fckeditor_userfiles_image_previewpics_3_.jpg}}**

**Prediction: Top 3rd Maybe the first victory for Fatone and another bucket list cross off. **

**Bull:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? On a scale of best names for the Rockem Sockem Trophy: This draft ranks a Hupp Cup **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Stoked: Ohtani Not ever remotely thought he would be #20 on the board. **

**Change: Zack Wheeler Not upset about this….I was thinking of Liam Hendricks for double closers and should have pulled the trigger. Tom grabbed him with the next pick….so confirmed probably the right move there. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**Eben’s: The end of his draft should be an ESPN 30 for 30 **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**Bad boner medication? **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**Atlantic City - Limo to AC like the first destination draft. **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**LET EM RIP!! Thanks for all being so cool with Winston, he’s been talking about all his new friends for 2 days now and wants to know the next time we’re drafting at LIC Bar.**

**Preview:**

**Let em’ Rip!!! Bull set Winston up selling cards to make back some of the money we were overcharged by LIC bar…heady play Dennis. What a bizarre turn of events from that joint (EDITOR'S NOTE: This was before the apology from the owner…which seems even more bizarre a week late). Think we have seen our last Carriage House draft, but who knows? Ain’t it funny how the night moves..**

**{{https://media2.giphy.com/media/EkbrTZJrV7EIwGxACC/200.gif?nolink&258x200}}**

**Anyway on to his squad. Bo Bichette is a solid anchor for any squad and pairing him with Ohtani bombs and the steady Machado gives Bull a well rounded base to build off of on the bats side of things. Honestly in the first and second rounds Jeff and Bull got both BJ’s and paired them with huge dongs…uh maybe I better move on. Jazz Jizzholm brings the bags he stole and Kelenic could be a rising star. Will Voit flourish in SD? Is Winker the real deal? Will Villar start every day? No. Maybe. I think so. **

**Where Bull really looks stacked is in his rotation and Pen. While other clowns went Pitch Pitch, (I will get to them soon) I think Bull has the best all around staff (gross!). Giolito, Ray, Wheeler, Sale are the best 4 starters there. True Wheeler and Sale may be out a bit, but if healthy, this staff f*cks. **

**{{https://c.tenor.com/wNw2cif-kHkAAAAC/silicon-valley.gif?nolink&498x278}}**

**Bull also backed up his Pen with great set-up men on the same team Williams for Hader, Karinchak for Clase and he threw in a Roman Wick for good luck (I think that is some sort of freak sex act). Bull might be bringing Winston to sell cards at the dinner, because you know he is picking Chuck E Cheese if he wins. He just might…**

**Commish Prediction: Top 3rd. I like the early drafters this year…weird don’t think this has ever happened like this before. **

**Tom:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**Tough to say. I did what I planned to do but I was never completely convinced I knew what I was doing. So…I'm the Phillies? **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**I was happy about the deGrom/Bieber 1, 2. Huge risk attached to both but, fuck it. I haven't won who gives a shit (I do when they are both on the IL before May)? I guess I like Baz at 15 since it pissed off a bunch of people but he already had surgery before I could answer these questions so "stoked" may not be the word. **

**I don't think I had any of the usual horrible reaches this year. Most of my regrets were a few guys I didn't draft in order to fill holes. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**I am impressed with the 7 teams that DIDN'T draft multiple catchers. FIVE! Five fucking teams drafted more than one catcher (one team only drafted one catcher under duress but that's a different matter)! I mean, I wasn't physically there but I still saw plenty (SO much - an ALARMING AMOUNT) of evidence that all future drafts should take place in the basement of a Protestant church. But none more than five of you fuckers drafted multiple catchers. I won't even mention the drunk that tried to draft his own catcher two additional times! (It was Eben) **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**This seems to be a specific reference to something that happened that I was not privy to because I was remote. My best guess is that the direct line would be the Bronx' obituaries since Vig only looks at old Yankees. RIP Ralph Terry **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**Online. **

**On a Thursday night. **

**With a time limit. **

**Then there should be a weekend trip the next day in NOLA. We should throw out the pretense that the draft is anything other than a reason to consume unreasonable amounts of alcohol. **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**Good luck. And if I don't win. may you all burn in hell.**

**Preview: **

**Tom made an early pick, selecting Covid a few days before we drafted. Kinda of an odd flex, but it worked for him, not havign to deal with the nonsense, or was it worse?!?! The fabled pitch/pitch 1-2 combo Gallagher delivered on draft day is also questionable, winning some years and flaming out in others. Can’t mess with deGrom (assuming Health) but I do question the Bieber love. I think there were better options for SP2 (Woodruff) and he might have gotten Bieber 3 (Meh, maybe not in Rockem, who knows). Anywhichway but loose, the arms with Rogers, Baz and Trivino are good but not great to these eyes. The pen is better with Hendricks, Gallegos, and Sims, where is Kopech pitching?!? Pen or starting or neither? He could be a wild card, but I got no idea and I am guessing LaRussa doesn’t even know who he is…**

**{{https://c.tenor.com/PjQRe0kNg4oAAAAd/white-sox.gif?nolink&440x254}}**

**Speaking of the drunk manager who falls asleep at red lights, Tom is all in on the ChiSox as he has Abreu, and Eloy anchoring his offense with a Correa added for Twins and Giggles. Muncy Chapman and Carlson are there but I don’t think there is enough fire power here to compete for EEets A Boat! When it comes down to it this team hinges on Pitch Pitch. deGrom and Bieber stay healthy and return to form, Tom has a shot, but I think it is a looooong one. **

{{https://media3.giphy.com/media/lpn1hW4FhnVHW78c7t/giphy.gif?nolink&480x270}}

**Prediction: Bottom 3rd Lonely-hearted lovers struggle in dark corners, Desperate as the night moves on, Just one look and a whisper, and they're gone**

**Wilson:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?**

**Good enough to beat Tom, which is the important thing. The older a man gets–and especially after he's got a championship under his belt (plus the original trophy itself on permanent display in his basement)–the more important it is to stop tilting at windmills and slaying big dragons. I know I'll never be BK (will any of us?). The silver screen only has one Bogart; the stage only has one Olivier; the American kitchen only has one Boyardee…and Rockem only has one BK. So why shadowbox with the impossible? Instead, it's important to focus on the deeper things in life…enjoying your friends, fielding respectable teams when in their company, raising polite children for Rockem Poolem, shoveling the sidewalks for the elderly in the off-season…and, above all else, continuing to beat Tom. That is the reason a man gets out of bed each morning.**

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Randall Grichuk. I was absolutely shocked and delighted to find him on my team Sunday night. At the end of the draft, I was so abruptly focused on losing the carriage house, and the Commish and I cabbing back to the city, and then visiting Taco Bell for a dinner party of 1, that I had forgotten about round 24. Then, Sunday night, I found one or two nice surprises on the roster. Two days later, an even bigger surprise…Grichuk gets traded to the Rockies. So, per usual, it all really worked out for the best, even though I had no part in any of it.**

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with?**

**Vig. He drafted the team I wanted to draft. From Kris Bryant and Aaron Judge to Luis Severino, he drafted most of the players I've heard of.**

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health?**

**WhatsApp.**

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be?**

**I think we'd do well in one of those sleepy Gulf Coast Florida towns…specifically Venice (Braves), Sarasota (Orioles), or back to Fort Myers (Twins). Plus, this time we don't have to rent a hotel or worry about finding people when they get lost. In addition to several quality, subsidized elder care facilities; the Gulf Coast has a strong and responsive "Silver Alert" system for when older Americans get confused and wander off, which some of us have been doing for years.**

**6) Anything to say to your competitors?**

**I love each of you. Mostly because you are comfortable losing to a guy who–to wrap the week–is about to feed his Chihuahua, turn on the Rockies, and jump into his inflatable hot tub.**

**Preview:**

**It was good meeting the Sleepy Tomato pre draft in the Westworld Singapore of Hudson Yards before progressing to Queens on draft day. It gave a dystopian feeling to things which served me mentally well. Things are not what they seem…or they REALLY are.**

{{https://i.gifer.com/IGWB.gif?nolink&400x225}}

**As for Wilson’s squad what do you want to know…without looking at them…Rockies, Nats, Yanks and picks that make no sense the same as every year…(checks team) huh..almost, but not quite. **

**On the bats side he got two big FA’s who landed in solid hitting markets, Freeman and Story. Robert and Teoscar are win big possibilities and hmmm…that seems to be it. Josh Bell? Charlie Blackmon? Gurriel? Mancini? Josh Donaldson? Those are Wilson picks..the weird thing was, he and Birdie were fighting over these guys every round…these guys!??! **

**{{https://c.tenor.com/55hS7v5xzI4AAAAC/who-are-these-fucking-guys-asking.gif?nolink&408x225}}**

**On the arms side Wilson has, surprisingly, the best bullpen in Rockem with Iglesias, Romano, Mel-An-cone and McGee who can all deliver SV’s but his starters may need some work. Is Fried a legit 1? Lance Lynn still got it? Have I asked rhetorical questions in every preview this year? No. Yes. Almost. I just don’t see Wilson at the top of the heap come September, but he has won this league…still shocking. **

**Prediction: Bottom 3rd. Everything went from bad to worse, money never changed a thing.**

**Bird:**

**1. 3 (The numbers of triple vodka sodas it took for me to completely go off the rails with my draft picking. Definitely lost my tolerance to drink)**

**2. Like [[https://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/9861|Kyle Schwarber]] in 9th round think he will have a solid year with lots of HRs. Would have Changed every pick after Round 14. did realize Will Smith was closing. (the vodkas kicked in at that point. Couldn't stop laughing with Vig once we got outside)**

**3. McNally - Can Pitch Pitch do it again!**

**4. He wears a rubber glove and shoves a finger in their ass singing "Moon River"**

**5. NOLA**

**6. Love you all, good luck! **

**Preview: **

**The Legend had wifi this year so he could join us in the carriage house at LIC Bar, but he also had tall Vodka Sodas so he wasn’t all there if you nahwhatImsayin’. Ferrari constructed his squad haphazardly this year…or maybe that’s what his robot and the vodka told him to do…**

{{https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-09-2016/zP13QY.gif?nolink&320x180}}

**Harper, Anderson, Perez, Buxton, Bregman. Goes like this: Great, Good, Can He Repeat? Is He Hurt Yet? Still Cheating? I don’t think John is gonna like the answers to the last three of those questions. Schwarber Rizzo and McMahon could be good value picks, but they are gonna need to really put up numbers. Because Conforto might not sign until the All-Star break, Longoria is old as dirt and Sano could bat .150. **

**On the arms side things are a bit better Gausman, Musgrove and EdRod I think is a sneaky good top three and his pen actually looks legit with Chapman, Smith and oh wait…that is it and Smith just got ganked by Kenley. Oh well, he has a lot of past Golden Boats to lean on….**

{{https://i.gifer.com/embedded/download/JAtv.gif?nolink&408x410}}

**Prediction: Bottom 3rd. When you are fighting with Wilson for guys…You end up like Wilson in my preview. **

**Vig:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?**

**I felt great!! Haha. This is the most psyched i have been about a team ever. I just went for mashers**

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?**

**Julio rodriguez because i was blind drunk stoked**

**Lane thomas. Also bc i was blind drunk**

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with?**

**Haha mine**

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health?**

**I mean you just gotta put the work in, be yourself and the next thing you know, boom! You can just call these guys up and get info!**

**just kiddin. I pay for them to answer health questions thru birthday wishes to myself on Cameo**

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be?**

**Florida. Tampa.**

**6) Anything to say to your competitors?**

**Looking forward to at least 2 summertime hangs with you all i love you so much. **

**And that laugh with birdie was the best **

**Preview:**

**JV has two modes, draft guys he loves/draft guys he hates. Very little in between when it comes to the Italian Stallion. He went hate for the Angels first with Trout, but if he is healthy of course he will love him. He went love with Judge second, but of course if he blows out a knee he will hate him by June. **

**{{https://media0.giphy.com/media/mWO9gCz9v4Ak3cJJMO/200.gif?nolink&405x200}}**

**The rest of the bats focus on power with a hefty side of bounce back. Bryant, Rendon and Yelich all need to revert to form if there will be Free Eats from Vig. Gallo and Lowe are bomb machines who will hit a combined .210 and Kirillof could be a star in the making in Twinkie land. **

**Even though he wanted just dingers this year, I actually think his arms may be in better shape than his bats. Rodon in SF is a hell of a pick, Severino could be back to superstar form and two Rockem legends (Kershaw and Wainwright) are damn good three/four. Syndergaard and Gilbert as five/six are really good as Vigs staff goes deep…yeah, I heard that. Moving on quickly to his bullpen….well, he doesn’t have one. Oh well, I liked this team for a minute. **

**{{https://c.tenor.com/4fKInActhO4AAAAM/one-minute-kajal.gif?nolink&220x220}}**

**Prediction: Middle 3rd. I think some of the bounce backs work as do his starters, but not enough for free eats. I don’t see him in the wood panel basement either…that is a plus. **

**Moon:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**10/10. In person and I didn't have to fly back to Chicago the next day. It's good to be back home! This has nothing to do with my team because it's shit. **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Chris Bassitt. I love me some Oakland A's and this guy is going to break out with the Mets this year. I over indexed on SBs early with Cedric Mullins, probably should have gone with more pop or pitch**

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**Jeff put together a legit offensive powerhouse with a good balance of pitching. Plus he was prompt with his picks this year. **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**Jay's side hustle is selling PED's from behind the bar. He's like Patrick Dempsy in the movie Loverboy but instead of ordering a pizza with extra anchovies it's a Miami Vice with extra coconut. **

**{{https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b8/0e/e3/b80ee32588252f6a4bd64967cbc66d24.png?nolink&440x305}}**

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be?**

**Definitely destination and wherever it is fly in Thursday, Friday draft, fun all day Saturday. **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**Anyone up to come to CT for a BBQ? I know Vig is.**

**Preview: **

**When I was entering this team I had to do a double take, did Moon draft this team or Bull?!? I am not sure why but I fell like these guys usually end up on Team Dennis but this year they fall to Moon; whoever they play for, color me unimpressed. **

**{{https://c.tenor.com/ZARVpp1hIVIAAAAC/unimpressed-unsure.gif?nolink&408x240}}**

**OK, I enjoy the well rounded 1-2 of Mookie and Devers. Little jealous because I had Mookie last year which will probably end up being his worst of his career. Quickly after that I start yawning though. Merrifeld, Mullins, JT SeagzzzZZZZZZZZ. *snort* Sorry, where was I? This team could surprise I guess if Mullins repeats, Walsh improves and Torkelson arrivZZZZZZ. Sorry again…**

**{{https://media2.giphy.com/media/vMbC8xqhIf9ny/200.gif?nolink&257x200}}**

**Hate to say it but kinda the same on the pitch side. Berrios as an ace? Ohtani a full season healthy pitching? Castillo on the Reds garner more than 5 wins? Meh. I hope so. Doubtful. Again things could click if Bassitt becomes an all-star behind the Met aces and Barlow and Ranger Suarez anchor the bullpen…wait Ranger is a starter on the Phillies. Never mind I am back to meh on Moon. **

**Prediction: Middle 3rd. More by default than anything. **

**McNally:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?**

**I rate my draft a 6 out of 10 based on how much I believe I was overcharged by Bull's kid for baseball cards and Marvel related products. **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**I like pitchers (except closers). I wanted top notch starters especially with the 11th pick. Totally happy with my pitch-pitch decision. Scherzer/Cole. Love it. Also, Jack Flaherty in the 21st round? I'd take a flyer on that kid any day! And there isn't ONE I would have changed. There's a bunch. I went pitch heavy. I should probably have drafted more guys that can hit, run and catch the ball. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with? **

**I could toss out a Tommy G just to be nice or an obligatory BK… but the truth is the only team I’ve taken a good look at is my own. So, the answer is mine. **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**Jay Vig is not the Vig we think we know. He’s a time warrior sent to NYC (NYU specifically) in the fall of 1993 where he goes on to meet and befriend several founding members of Rockem Sockem. These young men over time will introduce him to the remaining members, allowing Jay to befriend them as well. His mission? Through his compassion, loyalty and love course correct history and set these young men back on the straight and narrow. Jay is failing because these guys are mostly dicks. In a sad twist, Jay is forced to continue to hang out with them but is forbidden to use his knowledge of future baseball events for his own gain thus preventing him from succeeding within the league. But, yeah, he knows about the health of the players. **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**I definitely think it should be a destination/weekend away type thing. I'm down for whatever. Maybe another Spring Training trip? Fort Myers? St. Lucie? See a game or two? Or maybe Nashville? **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**F&%K LIC BAR!!! (Not really, but I don't live there anymore and it's lost the convenience factor).**

**Preview:**

**The second pitch/pitch 1-2 went to McNally down at the eleven pick and while the highs of deGrom/Bieber are beyond him, the more sturdy Max/Cole combo should be more reliable. Either way his staff rivals Bull’s for best in Rockem with Morton, Lopez and Ryu a hearty 3-5 and Flaherty a lottery ticket he hopes to cash in. McNally is deep as well with Stroman, and McCullers Jr. but this being McNally he has no bullpen, unless Whitlock becomes closer in Beantown, which doesn’t seem possible..POOF there goes saves yet again. **

{{https://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Poof-The-Usual-Suspects.gif?nolink&400x169}}

**With such big arms going early to Don you would think his O would suffer a bit…and O did they…rimshot. Hanging a team on the Semien, Marte, Springer and Altuve is risky business. Old men Brantley and Turner should help the AVG and SB’s should be plentiful, but were are the ‘taters?!!? **

{{https://c.tenor.com/xtFzgWnkNWAAAAAC/gollum-whats-taters-precious.gif?nolink&408x367}}

**While last year Don was destroyed before, during and after the draft, this year he just waited for his team to be assembled for the devastation to set in….**

**Prediction: Bottom 3rd. Max and Cole could win Cy Young's and I still think Don stays out of free eats. **

**Michael:**

**1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? **

**On the Winston Walters scale of Pokemon cards, with uncommon Tornadus being a 1 and epic Tornadus being a 10, I would give myself a 4. **

**Positively hated the snaaaaaaake this year. Despite the glowing prediction (and I’m sure perfect impression) of Ella Winston, it was a rough scrimmage with the serpent for yours truly. Rock’em often gets grabby and I felt like this year the normal pitch love went all over the place. Abreu and Alonso going way ahead of ADP threw me for a loop and by the 5th or 6th round I was taking guys I had mapped out a full round ahead. A grabby day indeed! **

**2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? **

**Justin Verlander in the 7th round could be very cool. As far as some misses, the back of my draft was a little oblivious. Our ejection! Hahaha. Had me going to the old standby method of a few names scribbled on a piece of paper, and then calling out one of those names when my turn came. I wish I had been more engaged with the overall draft. Would have loved Jack Flaherty before he went, instead of my multiple catchers. **

**3) Whose team are you most impressed with?**

**I tell ya, the number of hurt first rounders – either coming into this year or previously injured last – has positioned 2022 as one of the most wide-open seasons of all time. Genuinely could break any one of twelve ways, I feel. And I don’t think I have ever felt that way before. **

**But since that is not a real answer, I will say this… **

**BK and I had a great conversation last summer after a catch. Podcast worthy, I would say! Which is something we should really consider as our next logical ‘Rock’em’ extension. But I digress. With pitchers working less and less innings overall, AND our innings limit holding strong where it has always been, it should actually make quality starting pitching MORE of a priority on draft day. You should need more to cover the same amount of ground than you did in years prior… So, obviously, I am picking the guy who only drafted three SP’s, one of which is from Colorado. EWC repeats. **

**4) Speculate on how Jay Vig has a direct line on some players' health? **

**It is called being “Key.” **

**5) Where should next year's draft, the 20th with all of us, be? **

**I love the idea of a return to Spring Training. Florida would be fine. But I would definitely toss a vote to Arizona though as it is something we have never done before. And at this age, that list ain’t long! **

**6) Anything to say to your competitors? **

**I kinda loved the ejection? **

**It put a stamp on the year in a way that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. What I imagine will be our farewell from L.I.C. Bar, it’s the only way some relationships can end. We didn’t forget about one another. We didn’t fizzle out. It was a glorious fireball (we should have done shots of Fireball) of anger and frustration and LOVE and memories. **

**Very Rock’em.**

**Also very Rock’em was Eben and I talking about how Rock’em it would have been to just work our way back into the room via the surprise party! Hahaha. I tried. They were nice people too.**

**Preview:**

**Mike was busy getting schooled by Winston Walters in Pokemon or something but was locked in when it came to his turn for back to back selections, always ready with the…**

{{https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BronzeGloomyBluejay-max-1mb.gif?nolink&372x190}}

{{https://c.tenor.com/bmUu8UDpY8YAAAAC/shirley-temple-giggle.gif?nolink&300x225|Didn't think you'd see Shirley Temple in this preview did ya...thanks for reading.}}

**The rattling tail to my snake head, Mike was REACHING in the same pits I was searching in. His bats were going for power or speed early with Tucker and Riley offset by Mondesi and Baez. Pretty good with a little bit of risk, but Mike amps the risk up a whole heaping lot with Belllinger and DJ who both need huge bounce backs to help Mike’s O because are Grisham and Dalbec gonna do it? Doubtful. I like the late Bader grab, but is he Mike’s Master? Teehee.**

**{{https://media0.giphy.com/media/27tBs7latpux3rp0Vn/200.gif?nolink&200x200}}**

**The arms look stronger for the OB’s as Buheler, Verlander and Snell make a formidable 1-2-3. Clev also falls in the bounce back category, but I like that hippy and think he is a great grab. Mike also has three closers, a rarity in this league, with Knebel, Bednar and Floro so he could lead with saves if Eben's pen falters. Just not sure it will be enough for free food…**

**{{https://c.tenor.com/vVsfJJ5KUP0AAAAM/ducktales-ducktales2017.gif?nolink&220x124}}**

**Prediction: Middle 3rd. I think both ends of the snake have some gambles work, some falter and the end result is smack in the middle **

**Yahoo’s Predictions are strange this year, I think for players like Suzuki, who they have no stats for, they literal just give him 0’s across the board which is dumb. Even with that said the Robots at Yahoo! Hate two teams a whole bunch, want to guess who they are? **

**(Hint: their names rhyme with Spike and Heff):**

| |   \\  **Batters Categories** |||||| \\  **Batting Totals** |
| | \\  **R** | \\  **HR** | \\  **RBI** | \\  **SB** | \\  **AVG** | \\  **OPS** | |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/1|Yu Out Of 3 Ain't Vlad]]** | \\  **1003** | \\  **310** | \\  **988** | \\  **83** | \\  **0.267** | \\  **0.825** | \\  **37.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/2|C-Town Highpockets]]** | \\  **1019** | \\  **302** | \\  **1018** | \\  **108** | \\  **0.274** | \\  **0.806** | \\  **47** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/3|Chone Lōc]]** | \\  **949** | \\  **310** | \\  **930** | \\  **102** | \\  **0.259** | \\  **0.786** | \\  **22.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/4|Dogzilla]]** | \\  **1123** | \\  **340** | \\  **1124** | \\  **97** | \\  **0.278** | \\  **0.83** | \\  **66** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/5|Shock the Muncy]]** | \\  **974** | \\  **313** | \\  **1011** | \\  **53** | \\  **0.261** | \\  **0.787** | \\  **27** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/6|Ekectric Uncle Sams]]** | \\  **1095** | \\  **339** | \\  **1053** | \\  **87** | \\  **0.266** | \\  **0.831** | \\  **55** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/7|ephedraheartstoppers]]** | \\  **1069** | \\  **300** | \\  **970** | \\  **131** | \\  **0.27** | \\  **0.805** | \\  **42** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/8|Honey Nut Ichiros]]** | \\  **1018** | \\  **328** | \\  **964** | \\  **108** | \\  **0.266** | \\  **0.816** | \\  **45** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/9|Ocean's Blyleven]]** | \\  **938** | \\  **262** | \\  **900** | \\  **134** | \\  **0.262** | \\  **0.777** | \\  **20.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/10|Tangled Upton Blue]]** | \\  **1073** | \\  **314** | \\  **971** | \\  **87** | \\  **0.265** | \\  **0.811** | \\  **41.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/11|2 Legit 2 Witt]]** | \\  **914** | \\  **289** | \\  **913** | \\  **92** | \\  **0.262** | \\  **0.8** | \\  **18** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/12|Who Andujar You]]** | \\  **1046** | \\  **311** | \\  **1006** | \\  **92** | \\  **0.274** | \\  **0.809** | \\  **46** |

| |   \\  **Pitchers Categories** |||||| \\  **Pitching Totals:** |
| | \\  **W** | \\  **CG** | \\  **SV** | \\  **K** | \\  **ERA** | \\  **WHIP** | |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/1|Yu Out Of 3 Ain't Vlad]]** | \\  **56** | \\  **4** | \\  **73** | \\  **1045** | \\  **3.54** | \\  **1.15** | \\  **35.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/2|C-Town Highpockets]]** | \\  **73** | \\  **4** | \\  **43** | \\  **1180** | \\  **3.36** | \\  **1.15** | \\  **47** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/3|Chone Lōc]]** | \\  **72** | \\  **7** | \\  **89** | \\  **1256** | \\  **3.17** | \\  **1.07** | \\  **62** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/4|Dogzilla]]** | \\  **64** | \\  **2** | \\  **64** | \\  **1065** | \\  **3.63** | \\  **1.17** | \\  **24.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/5|Shock the Muncy]]** | \\  **72** | \\  **3** | \\  **100** | \\  **1307** | \\  **3.03** | \\  **1.08** | \\  **58.5** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/6|Ekectric Uncle Sams]]** | \\  **59** | \\  **5** | \\  **0** | \\  **887** | \\  **3.62** | \\  **1.16** | \\  **26** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/7|ephedraheartstoppers]]** | \\  **65** | \\  **3** | \\  **72** | \\  **1100** | \\  **3.47** | \\  **1.21** | \\  **34** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/8|Honey Nut Ichiros]]** | \\  **84** | \\  **2** | \\  **43** | \\  **1377** | \\  **3.65** | \\  **1.17** | \\  **34** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/9|Ocean's Blyleven]]** | \\  **57** | \\  **2** | \\  **48** | \\  **984** | \\  **3.4** | \\  **1.11** | \\  **31** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/10|Tangled Upton Blue]]** | \\  **88** | \\  **4** | \\  **20** | \\  **1326** | \\  **3.27** | \\  **1.1** | \\  **53** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/11|2 Legit 2 Witt]]** | \\  **72** | \\  **2** | \\  **34** | \\  **1174** | \\  **3.6** | \\  **1.18** | \\  **26** |
| \\  **[[https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/27850/12|Who Andujar You]]** | \\  **55** | \\  **5** | \\  **128** | \\  **844** | \\  **3.47** | \\  **1.16** | \\  **36.5** |

**Totals:**

| \\  **Final rankings** | \\  **Yahoo!** |
| \\  **McNally** | \\  **94.5** |
| \\  **BK** | \\  **94** |
| \\  **Fatty** | \\  **90.5** |
| \\  **Tom** | \\  **85.5** |
| \\  **Bull** | \\  **84.5** |
| \\  **Wilson** | \\  **82.5** |
| \\  **Vig** | \\  **81** |
| \\  **Bird** | \\  **79** |
| \\  **Moon** | \\  **76** |
| \\  **SPD** | \\  **73** |
| \\  **Mike** | \\  **51.5** |
| \\  **Jeff** | \\  **44** |

**Best pitch according to Yahoo! are Bull, Tom and Don…makes sense. Best Bats, Fatty and Jay Vig with BK a distant third. The robot hates Jeff Mike and Bulls bats and Fatty Jeff and Vigs pitching. **

**Well whatever the robots say, here is the way I see the league going down and the patented statement:**

**The league is waaaay too tight, injuries and breakout seasons are what will decide this year’s champ. It will come down to the final days like always and something weird will probably decide the title and who eats for free. I seriously believe anyone can win this thing…and the great thing is? Someone will.**

**Commish Predictions: **

**12. Tom**

**11. McNally**

**9. Tie Bird and Wilson**

**8. Moon**

**7. Vig**

**6. Shawn**

**5. Mike**

**4. Fatty**

**3. Winston**

**2. BK**

**1. Bull**

\\