Rockem Sockem

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So a few days removed and I still feel like I am partly at our Country Home. My brain is still foggy, my emotions disjointed and a hairy gypsy looking person is sleeping in my room…. This was a strange trip in year 2 of our Covid Drafts. I don't think anyone was super comfortable with all aspects of the trip, but the house was everything we could have hoped for this year. A fantastic dinner to kick things off made by the Covid shortened champion himself and a marathon fucking drafting session which lasted all god damn day…

In truth, I feel we were all different animals being released back into the wild and not everyone was adapting at the same speed or if at all. This was my first true socializing since September, others have had various interactions with various people and I think it showed. Rockem as a collective unit was remembering how to hangout and it was a bit awkward at times. The love was clearly there but the muscle memory was a bit rusty…or maybe I am looking too deep…speaking of deep….

Twenty fucking years fellows, twenty fucking years (well, for some of us…the real twentieth happens in a few years).

This is some accomplishment. Wives have come and gone, pandemics have come and stayed, kids have grown up and Rockem rolls on. I love you all…now I am going to diarrhea all over your teams….

That is not a euphemism, that shrimp salad did not sit well…truth is I have no idea about anything this year and neither do any of you. Even more than most years drafting is a total crap shoot, not even accounting for the random Covid Infections bound to happen when teams start traveling. As it stands, coming off a 60 game season, rankings and ideas are all over the map, it turns out I like some teams better than others, but what the fuck do I know?! All I know is I wish I had more time hanging out with all of you and could shake off the socializing rust…. anyways…onto the shit show..

As always I am just dealing with your team as of the draft with my takes; I can’t keep track if you picked up Johnny Hotnuts or slipped the tongue to Malcolm McVultureSave. I am also doing this before I read your responses to my questions, any connection is just serendipitous. In Draft Order…

BK:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of the Barn:

Started off in the lofty heights of the loft, drifted down to the fun of the porch and main games area, then spiraled into the abyss of the secret locked basement door where no one knows what could be.

2) stoked about , should have changed?  

Javy Baez was a pick I hadn't thought about until he was sitting there. As it fell to the snake, wanted to do the sexy Baez Jr./Vlad Jr. pick to add to Acuna Jr., but Donny Mac snaked that snake.

Brandon Woodruff replaced Vlad. Regret that boring replacement as it led to the boring, basement abyss from there.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Bird. He may get his 5th, and we'll discuss EEE's a Bat.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

I've recalled many favorites over the years in these Questions. Impossible to state a superlative moment among them.

But I'll say this about our twenty-ish years of my time with this Rock'em brethren:

I've forgotten more memories (particularly on the Thursday nights) than most people have had the chance to experience. Much love to that.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

Pandemic aside

Forged in friendship and baseball

Hippopotamus

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

I want the boat back…

Commish Thoughts: The real champ is even Nervous Pervis with the first overall pick, the world is his oyster but all he does is pull out his beautiful new haircut, stressing. Well Acuna was great…after that the stress begins to show…I am kidding…partly, but when the 9 hour draft dust settled I am simply not a fan of BK’s squad.

The Highpockets seem split with a few “can they rebound bats” (Javy Baez, JD and Sanchez) and a few “can they do it again bats” (Dom Smith, DJ)…Acuna may strain his back carrying the offensive load. On the pitch side Nola is better than I give him credit for, but is Woodruff? Grienke got quality stuff left? Shenendehowa’s own Ian Anderson is legit, and BK is one of the few teams that has (at least post draft) an actual bullpen, but I am just not feeling this squad the way I am feeling BK’s new hairdoo…

Commish Prediction: See what happens when you give the Commish a ride? He farts in your car. Bottom Third.

Eben:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale?

A dumpster fire. Crystal Pepsi and New Coke. Gallipoli. The entire career of George B. McClellan. Among the many imbecilic moments in human history–brought about by a series of inexplicably dumb decisions–I would put the 9 hours I stared at Tom and the Zoomed interior of a barn in Denver, Not Colorado at the top. I thought a lot about this draft. I even did an internet search for "Fernando Tatis" ahead of time. Thinking gets you nowhere. The treasure can't be found by men who search, to quote R. Zimmerman. Baseball and life are about winging it, and about going with your gut. And now that my gut is larger, it took a nap and turned drafting over to my brain, which started strategizing and planning and making lots and lots of plans. And God is laughing.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   

I was pleased with the Grichuk pick. His first name is Randal. I believe then, as I do now, that he will have a breakout season and finish as a top 40 player in 2021. It would be easy to say that picking Tatis was a terrible decision. I only half-heartedly drafted him and he's shaping up to be a flop. However, oddly enough, I'm now enjoying watching Padres games till 1:30am, so it wasn't a total loss. No…the dumbest pick was targeting Taylor Rogers and Jordan Hicks, and deciding to grab Rogers first because OF COURSE Hicks would be there when it swung back. After his Tommy John surgery in 2019, his future was still "in doubt"—even though he was already clocking in near 100mph in early spring training. Anyway, when you're drafting alongside a BK Double, just know that if you sit still you'll get grilled.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

The Water Ghost's. Unless Birdie runs away with it all by the end of May–which is possible–this December we will be dining at either "Cafe Water" at 130 Water Street, "The Water Club" on 30th, or possibly even "Blend on the Water" on Center Boulevard in Queens.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

Vegas? Key West? Atlantic City? LA? Rockem travels to places where there should be baseball teams if the MLB still had a soul. But in reality, my favorite draft was the Outrigger in Fort Myers. I loved the Gulf Coast weather, the simplicity of the scene and the draft, the mid century motel vibe, and the yucks with everyone.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

These two things I know

Baseball is American

So am I, win-win

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

20 years. The score! In a world where everything is getting faster, more frenetic and less meaningful, baseball is the last thing that slows time down, and fittingly–I think for all of us–Rockem has been the one unchanging constant of the past 20 years. Everything else has changed. The fact that time has spared Rockem is something for which I am very grateful. I don't know what the world or our lives will look like in another 20 years, but I certainly hope I am still threatening Tom for second-to-last place.

Commish Thoughts: Did Eben draft this year?!?! (Checks Rockies and Yankees) oh yeah he did…look at that. Unfortunately not joining us in person Neezer hopped on the chat with Tom and got angrier at all of us by the passing hour. I don’t have much new funny to say from interacting with him this year so I will go with a classic. Eben looks like the Cambell soup kid….still.

Looking at his team, it is aiight. Going Tatis 2nd seemed consensus and the rest of his bats are anchored by Arenado and Voit natch…with McNeil for avg and Dozier for late pop with perhaps Berti for speed (if he plays enough) looks fairly well rounded. He may know something about the Mets since he was all over Alonso before any of us and he grabbed Villar, or he could just be reading magazines from 2017 and this could be the boner pick of the draft, we shall see…

On the Pitch side things look pretty middle of the road as well, Flaherty, Lynn, Corbin, Marco Gonzo make a firm four while Kenley, the Night Stalker and Rogers equal a good bullpen this year. Could Eben actually win this thing again with a consistent team!?!??

Commish Prediction: No way….Middle third.

McNally:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale from “the driveway sucks” to “do you have 4 wheel drive?”, I’d rate my draft “give it a try”.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?

I was psyched about Vlad Jr. Also, I know people hate him, but Bregman in the 5th round? Pretty solid 3B!

Should have changed? Soria. I drafted one closer (which is useless anyway) who doesn’t have the closer job.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Mike's. At least that's what he convinced me of on the ride home.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past…

I've always loved the Fort Myers weekend. Loved that we went to a game! Loved the outdoor draft area! Loved the Miami Vice's. I even loved that shitty band! But the best was Eben and I each (and quite separately) getting offered flight saving rides to the airport by the loveliest couple of strangers. "Hope you don't mind, we're giving someone else a lift as well."

I open the door to reveal Eben in the backseat. Simply amazing. We laughed and laughed. A delightful ride.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

Twenty years ago

Rockem Sockem came to be

One hell of a ride

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Climbing straight to the top this year, fellas!

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Commish Thoughts: Well after yelling at Don all Friday and waking up sorry for having done so, I should be nice in this preview to make up for it….HA! By the way, I just want to say we really nailed our long running ploy to hide McNally’s draft materials from him for year 20…well played team!

Let’s start with the pitch this time because that is where McNally seemed to focus and could be his strength? (he asks questioningly). Walker Yu is a weird name for a massage parlor but a hell of 1-2. With Stroman, Lopez and whatever Pitching Shoei gives him, things could be dynamic, but this is Don and he just refuses to draft a closer..wait a second Jokim Soria is closing in Zona? Huh…who knew? Not McNally otherwise he wouldn’t have drafted him.

Soto over Betts, I would have done the same as his bats are being led by slightly pudgy latinos with Soto, Vlad and Nelson Cruz pumping up the jams. Two big question marks for McNally’s bats could really push his team to the next level in my eyes, is Bregman back to top tier levels and is Stanton going to give you anything?

Commish Prediction: I think one does and one doesn’t leave this squad somewhere in the…Middle Third. Is that where Don left his phone? Did he ever find it since it was directly in front of his face?

SPD:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of two day hangovers this one was a three day hangover. For the pain, but also the joy in getting to it. Love all my bats, hate all my pitch.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?

Stoked is easy, Lois Robert to me was a steal in the 4th round. I probably shouldn't have taken David Price at all, especially when his teammate was still on the board and his role isn’t even defined yet. That’s what happens when you need to pass out mid draft and just do a zen-like, eyes closed, 4 round swing on the couch in the middle of the draft without any materials…

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Read the preview…

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

Driving up this trip and reminiscing about the Hunter draft was special, the first one we all attended is to be remembered and while not as glamorous as complementary limos to stripclubs in Vegas, just as special and maybe even more so.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

So much love for this

Rockem Sockem is pure joy

Itzabadmiton.

6) Anything To Say to your competitors?

As I stated earlier, read the preview.

Guest Preview: This year with the guest preview, Rockem Cookem Extraordinaire Jay VIgliucci!

For the main man SPD!! I love Mookie Betts so damn much. I love that Boston let a generational player like that out of their sphere. Won a world series now get the hell out of here!!!!

Seriously, he is such a great player and it seems like he galvanizes his teams with his smile and big d. I actually love the first 4 picks for shawn. I know Luis Robert because he was on my team last year and although 4th round may have been high for some, I feel like risks must be taken and his talent is formidable.

Blake Snell was one of two guys that I almost defied Eddie the Robot in taking. Great anchor and table setter for Price, Gray, Sale or the yankees newest Taillion. If they perform close to their average potential this could be a very dependable squad. Feels on the iffy side but the hell do I know?

Donaldson in the 11th could turn out huge if his propensity to be a gigantic asshole doesn't get in the way. Hosmer is always solid albeit never spectacular?

There are saves potential. There is potential for everything Tubby!

They say that drafts are won in the later rounds and although I do believe that to be true, I think that if the first 4 he drafted earn their keep and 3 of those starters do the same, SPD is in the race. He will need more to crack the top 3 though.

I say middle third is where the Master Commander lands but I hope not. I want everyone to win!!

Thanks Jay…Commish Prediction: Middle Third

Bull:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

5 times better than the road that led us to the Choco Barn

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   

Uh….MIke Trout…..but getting Andrew Vaughn in the last round had me stoked as well. Maybe Liam Hendricks……happy to get him but the closer run started a round or two later….so probably could have waited.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Shawn’s…..he picked half his team asleep.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

All things Slopes and Hot Tubs.

Limo ride to AC when most of us were a little less tubby…..tubby.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

Joints left on counter

Who did steal the lobster rolls?

Same guy as Don’s phone?

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Thank you for not yelling Screw Crew all weekend and praise Jesus Moon didn’t flip over the rail after falling down the loft stairs.

If Eben wins again I quit.

Commish Thoughts:The most cagey veteran Bull came in with a huge jug of hand sanitizer, a badminton net and high hopes. A few of these got displaced on the Denver, NY hillside and few may make it home safely.

After starting a bit normal with Trout and Machado, proven commodities, Bull seemed to get itchy and hoped on the Kyle Tucker Hype again picking up Hiura and Swanson along the way for the potential ride. Overall it seems a bit of a mixed bag but one with a pretty safe floor as guys like Teoscar, Mountcastle and Hayes COULD contribute but I am thinking a few don’t.and Bull’s bat is used for kindling in our fireplace…not the fire pit which we never used….sadly.

HIs arms aren’t weepy though Kershaw, Glasnow Hendricks McCullers combine for a pretty tasty 4 some with ze German adding even more depth. The backend is legit as well with Diaz, Holland and Scott all currently lineup to close games for teams…Hmm Weepy bats that need some testosterone from the Big Hurt and Flutie and some arms that will hurt the opposition….where does that leave him?

Commish Prediction: Middle Third, think Bull is going to split the difference this year the way we split early from the Barn and left out joints…speaking of….

Vig:

1. This was my first true "autodraft". I bought a robot and succumbed to every pick he (or she; fvck her, I bought a he) suggested. Every other league I have ever been in I almost always gone for whatever the "best" available player was regardless of position. Look how that has worked out for me.

I will say that there were 7 rounds that the picks Eddie the robot suggested were TOTALLY off my radar. The Correa round in particular I suppose. There is an algorithm that the winners of this thing naturally tap into and I desperately want to understand it. Whatever the cost.

I would say this was a very balanced draft for me. Arguably the most but time will tell.

2. Super psyched about Degrom because it went against my natural yankeeness and he is just so damn great.

Sano can suck it

3 Mcnallys because he was literally climbing walls in between picks while others were zooming

4. One of the proudest moments of my life happened in Vegas with McNally and I doubt anything will top the profound impact it had on me.

5. give ya 2

the have and have not

warm hellos, carvel goodbyes

chickens in the trash

what castle on high

crazy road not withstanding

the great men within

6. I hope I finally learn something and thank you for always being there!

Commish Thoughts: The fryin’ Italian’ couldn’t stop cooking, or sleeping, get up Jay! We draft at Noon! At least he didn’t have to go far to get the shindig started and besides his roommate still couldn’t find his phone or draft materials…

While Vig may have been in a fog his robot was clear headed and had to make the first real pick of the draft as the top 5 were pretty much laid out (barring personal preference). Since he went DeGrom let’s look pitch first for the Bone Droppers. DeGrom, Maeda, Urias Montas Soroka and Civale are pretty fucking legit and when Carrasco gets healed that is even stronger staff. With Chapman and Kimbrel…hmm not the best closers but he has a surplus of starters he could move or drop for vulturing saves. Not shabby.

On the bat side his OF is as stacked as they come…mmmm Stacked….err I Mean…Stacked! Harper, Ozuna Arozarenna?!?!? Oooh that makes the commish excited. The steady Xander, possible huge years from Torres, Grisham and Correa to go along with bounce backs like Contreas Anthony B and Sano? I am liking this team more than (insert funny gif)

Commish Prediction: Top Third and if saves are found look out for the Stallions.

Mike:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

On a scale of how much snow was on the deck when the weekend started to how much snow was on the deck when the weekend ended, with Friday being a 1 and Sunday being a 10, I would give myself a 5. The reptile from “The Freshman” was gone, but there was a lot more work that could have and should have been done.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?  

Was very excited for Judge in Round 5! Pick 55, I believe? You telling me there are FIFTY FOUR other MLB players who are better than Aaron Judge? I know… I know… injury prone.

Devin Williams in the 14th Round is a little early for a middle reliever/ratios guy with no clear path to close. I had Alex Verdugo lined up. But when Fatone snagged him, I was already so fed up with the process of the day that I called the first name I could think of, took my Covid-safe, individual plate of Ruffles and my Miller Lite to the deck and got some sun.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

I tell ya, for a guy with no phone and no laptop, I think Don McNally came outta The Barn with a really solid team. Closers will be a concern for sure. But with so many more teams using multiples nowadays, I think he can still get some SV shares and be ok. Perennial contender, Bird, looks tough as well. And I would give an honorable mention to Jay Vig’s team, but that Carlos Correa steal!??!?!?! :-D

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

The menu at this year’s proceedings was just phenomenal. I mean, absolutely world class. The lasagna, the sausage and peppers, the garlic bread, the breakfast sandwiches with signature Don Fatone jalapenos, THE BEAN DIP, the burgers, the ribs, the shrimp salad, the Mexican corn, the curly fries, the list goes on and on and on. It is always so cool to see how talented my friends are and to feel the love that went, specifically, into all of that preparation.

I’m so glad this question is a question, because a fav moment from yesteryear legit hit me mid-weekend…

Remember the grilled cheese sandwiches at the first cabin draft? Tasty.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

“Oft-Seen In The Loft Scene”

by Mike Ryniec

Who is that up top?

Mary and Laura Ingalls?

No. Jason Bateman.

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

There was a joke kicking around on our last night in Denver between Bird and Vig and I that we will eventually get to a point in Rockem where each of our “’bots” will duke it out on our behalf. We let the apps 100% draft teams for us, minus our actual participation.

…maybe that time is now?

The Barn. The Champ’s Dinner. Draft Weekend was positively fantastic - except for that annoying fantasy baseball draft that had to happen on Saturday.

It felt like a gigantic imposition. Something we had to fight to start, struggle to get through, and push to a finish. While I don’t remember a draft as frustrating, stressful or sorta sad as this one, I do think we have been trending in a certain direction.

The venues get bigger and bigger. We sit farther and farther apart. The music plays louder and louder. We drink more and more, sometimes earlier and earlier. And while not all participants exemplify all of these characteristics (I, personally, have contributed mightily to a few of these), the net effect is definitely that we are less and less connected to one another and less and less connected to what we are supposedly there to do. Maybe we should fix that?

We could start with something small? Maybe next year we all sit around one table. Like we did at the draft at the Village Idiot in 2002. Like we did at the draft in Atlantic City in 2006. Like we did at the dinner in the Barn the very night before.

Anyways, maybe I am the only one who experienced the draft this way or sees this current progression. So if this all seems like it is coming outta nowhere, feel free to disregard. I just think that if we can get back to basics, in some regards, we can have an even better time.

Or maybe we just let the ‘bots duke it out?

Love you all, always. Viva La Rockem.

Commish Thoughts:

No daytime fake doctor could keep Mike away from the draft this year even though 2 out of 3 urged him to slow down on virtual Topps trading cards leading up to it…

Dealing with Tom and Eben may have been a distraction to most drafters, but not Mike he got who he was after in the middle slots, bending and flexing with ease…must be his new stretching regiment he is so excited about. Anyways…love the Trea to the Max double dip in D.C. could be a 90’s cop buddy movie in it for those two….

Two huge NYC bats hold up Mike’s power with Alonso and Judge while Reyonlds and Goldschmidt seal up any AVG woes. WOAH! (Insert gif) The only issue I see on the O side is Turner may have to steal 80 bases but otherwise Mike is looking pretty solid.

Arms may be even better as Max times 2, Chucky and Dylan make up a decent 4 arm hydra with Wild Thing, Bradley and Williams figuring to throw heat. With so many bullpens so side open these Relivers might not get a tons of S’s…but they should be good for a host of Giggles..wait I meant K’s

Commish Prediction: Top Third, middle draft slots look pretty solid this year and Mike is always in the Mix…..

Fatone:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

- This was the first draft in a long time where I could not keep up, couldn't manage "the app" and had to take a nap! I feel good about my first few rounds and glad I did some pre-work to carry me through the last few rounds with some ideas of players I wanted to take if still available. Walking out of there though I felt very good as soon as that driveway was behind me.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?

- Clearly I was stoked about Bieber but maybe should have made a different move there with my first and tried to grab him on the snake, would he still be there? I don't know but I'm damn glad to have that ace.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

- Most impressed with the champs, Acuna is a beast…I miss him, that squad is stacked all around and ready for a run at another title

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

- So many good times and love that we keep this going, but I can still feel it in my bones that moment when I found you all in vegas, that night was a blast! And big ups to Jeff for upgrading our room.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

- The 20th year! Tom, Don, Don, Jay and Shawn. Will this be their year?

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

- Good luck fellas, loved seeing you all and can't wait to get together again!

Commish Thoughts:

Flying in from the West Coast and not bringing an ounce of virus with him, I feel like Don already won….won what? I have no idea…

A killer 1-2 Bieber and Yeillich has Fatty pick two guys who both need to be carded going into bars…While those studs just look young, Mondesi and Anderson are young and damn sexy. The best catcher in the biz, and some interesting corner men with Olson and Lowe and a late steal of 40 homer power Soler, Donny has himself some percolating O…sounds dirty.

The arms after the Biebs also show off some promise as Burns, Alcantra and Luzardo could all have big break out years. The Donalds obviously collaborated pre draft and Fatty like McNally went the no closer route..he has done it before we shall see if it works….it hasn’t yet.

Commish Prediction: If you were ever to punt saves this seems the year to do it and i think it pays off for Fatty, Top Third.

Moon:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

I got to play indoor badminton with Bull. My best draft ever.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?

I was stoked about drafting deGrom, but then Vig decided to become a Mets fan and take him over Cole. I was regretting drafting Conforto immediately. I'd prefer at least one of my teams do well.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

I'm gonna go with Bird or BK. High probability that I will be right at the end of the season.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

Looks like these

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5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

First round went pitch pitch

Last time was Kershaw Scherzer

Those picks were better

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Enough with the haikus

Commish Thoughts: PITCH PITCH LIVES!!!!! Unreal, well very real. Moon with the alluring Cole Giolito 1-2 puts the winning practice back into action as he stacks the fuck out of his arms with Sixto, Paddack and Dustin May. Pairing those sexy beasts with three legitimate closers (Rosenthal, Bard, SMith) Moon has assembled the deepest and most exciting staff in Rockem. He is going to need them…

Boy these bats could use some steroids, sure Eloy is a big boy but he is going to have to blossom into an MVP if Moon makes a run (Editor's note….NOPE) While Rendon, Comforto Muncy etc are OK…there is nothing to really sink your teeth into on the bat front. However there could be surprises with Bohm, Cron and Lux….but I am not holding my breath.

Commish Prediction: Think Jay and I have same kinda teams just opposite sides of the dugout/bullpen Bottom Third

Jeff:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

A gigantic pile of cold bbq chicken and other assorted charred meats, in a garbage bag, on the floor, the morning after the draft.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   

I liked the back end of the draft order this year. Being able to grab Bellinger and Story together felt good, both *potential* top 5 type returns. Time will tell. Grabbing Lamet with his questionable arm as my first pitcher.. that feels regrettable.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Nobody sticks out. Think anyone has a shot this year, complete crap shoot.

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

There is easily enough material for a Lord of the Rings-esque trilogy (most of which I most would most certainly prefer to remain very specifically in the oral history realm). "Rockem I - The Early Years"….. Where does one even begin? I am a sucker for the side moments on the trips. The quieter conversations pouring over life. But I also don’t mind spitting at the moon. (Clarification: not The Moon)

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

Should I go? Might die.

No limos, no Neez, no Tom.

Went, cried, lived! Rock’em!

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

Keep Calm and Rockem On.

P.S. - It'za in’da driveway.

Commish Thoughts: The champion from the shortened season defends his title the way he defends his lasagna…I have no idea what that means.

I do know that while there were some damn good 1-2 picks in this league, but Jeff’s was my favorite..if Bellinger is healthy I think he is a steal there and could be reminiscent of McNally’s Yellich Bellinger pick a few years back. Keeping the stout swinging lumbering forward Devers and Springer are dynamite. Throw in a few wildcards like Kyle Lewis, Walsh, Riley, Laureno (who it seems like Jeff always drafts) and Moore and he is on to something on the offensive side of things.

The staff is a bit dicey though…is Ryu a true #1? Can Berrios take the next step? Are Gausman, Bassit or Means legit or was last year just a fluke? Answers: Meh, ?!?! and leaning Fluke. I am not as hot on those guys as others but with Colome, LeClerc and Bass he at least has closers in the role which is more than I can say for most of the other ROckem Pens…hmm Maybe I buy you guys Rockem Pens next year….

Commish Prediction: Think the champ could be cooking for us two years in a row…Top Third.

Tom:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?

With 10 being fully vaccinated and 1 being an unvaccinated smoker and contracting the South African variant, I rate my draft Ebola.

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   

I'm happy I actually have Freddie Freeman on my team for the first time. It kind of went downhill after that.

3) Whose team are you most impressed with?

Is it McNally's?! God help me, I think it's McNally's

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past….

Can I believe it's 20 years? Yes, of course I can. I know how the passage of time works.

Lots of favorite moments. One that comes to mind is walking into the board room in AC and seeing the Rock'em shirts draped over our chairs. By the way, this should be a trick question for almost everyone in the league. All of you drunken orangutans can't remember what happened 5 seconds ago on draft day. If lives depended on someone…ANYone…remembering who was just drafted, the cup would have been named in year one.

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

Who did BK take?

Who did BK take, assholes?

Is anyone there?

6) Anything to say to your competitors?

There was more physical distance between a 1950's suburban family of six hiding in their three person fall-out shelter than there was between you overly huggy, extraordinarily inebriated, manchildren. I hope I never miss another one.

Commish Thoughts: Tom decided to stay home and play it safe…then he started drafting and apparently forgot what the word safe meant….

Perhaps not being in the barn and lobbing insults at everyone threw him off but Tom’s team smells like the remnants of Bean Dip. Lots of early arms would normally make for a better staff but The Zach Attack, S.S. Always Injured and Mahle doesn't truly strike fear in the hearts of Rockem foes. Maybe the confused religious law firm of Hader Hand and Amir close 40 games apiece and Tom runs away with saves but perhaps…Damn she is/was/will always be fine….

WIth those arms I expected more with the stick, but outside of the NL East MVP contenders I am not super juiced, maybe I am low balling Albies and Santander but don’t think they are world beaters, is Fraizer even starting? Oye como vay??? Dobby Balbec?!?!? strike that reverse it…Hmm. Tom played it safe health wise but his team may need life support before this is all over.

Commish Prediction: Bottom Third, but there is always killing the po-po in the Heartlands wjen the season goes south…

Birdie:

1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? 1: A cold cabin in the woods - 10: Burning everything in the house to make it toasty. I rate my draft a 9, we dont need no water let the mother fucker burn!

2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   Was happy to get Seager in Rd 4, thought he would be gone by then. Not sure what i was drinking in rds 17-21, I waited too long to grab the players i wanted. Thats the issue of being on the end of the snake!

3) Whose team are you most impressed with? BK. Complete other end of the draft from me and seemed to get the players he wanted. What else do you expect from the GOAT!

4) Can you believe it is 20 years of Rockem? The barn was exactly what we were hoping for as the second (and hopefully last) pandemic influenced draft, but take a second and reflect back on a favorite moment from drafts past…. Cant forget the first one, playing moose dice at the bar after the draft, the boardroom at Tropicana, Jaegar Bombs every 5th round in Vegas, Key West Preseason Baseball, Homerun derby in the cabin!

5) Give me a haiku (level of harshness up to you) which describes this draft?

20 years a peach

Proud to share this with you all

Need one for the thumb

6) Anything to say to your competitors? 20 Years, Dont they go by in a blink!

Commish Thoughts:

During the draft I am not going to lie, I was drunk and out of it, but I was not digging on Bird’s team…I always thought Neezer was the most nervous person in the league, but I think both BK and Birdie might top him, especially in years when they ride the snake….

Bird seemed to be reaching every round and not joyously. Let's break it down a bit now that I am (more) sober…Bats, Jose Ramierz strikes me as the type of guy to claim the spotlight and put up MVP like numbers when his team stinks…maybe this is the time. Seager is in a contract year but are Altuve, Blackmon and Marte up to snuff? I think one out of three might be…The late AVG grabs of Turner and Brantley are OK but there isn’t a whole lot to get excited about, maybe Joc comes into his own in Chicago? If he never has to face a lefty maybe….

On the arms side things are a bit wonky as well. I for one think Bauer needs to prove he is a legit ace over a full season while Castillo is probably better than I give him credit for. Wheeler? Musgrove? Shrug and Meh. Pressly Barnes and McGee at least have the closers role, but I feel like I keep writing that this review, no one knows anything about closing…hmm maybe the Donald’s had it right…anyway back to the Birdie…

Commish Prediction: Bottom Third…the Bird is NOT the word this year….

Final prediction order:

12. Tom

11. Moon

10. Bird

9. BK

8. Eben

7. Shawn

6. Bull

5. McNally

4. Fatty

3. Jeff

2. Mike

1. Vig