Rockem Sockem

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The year of the sonnet but don’t expect this preview to rhyme you ancient Mariner's.\\
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We are going to get right too it because 14 is an awkward year for all. Girls get scary in a new way, little league starts to get tougher, Jr High angst will lead to high school enigmas. Better to just dive in then focus on the; mall ratting, starter hat wearing, comic book stealing, Street Fighter II playing, summer camp attending, starting-to-formulate-adult-feeling’s year that was 14…hmm maybe I went to far.\\
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Onto the previews! (well when Don Fatone sends his answers in…we are still waiting on 5/12)\\
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Like last year, Yahoo! predicted some things:\\
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If my math is right (and I was an English Ed major) these are the final standings the robot known as Yahoo see’s in it’s magic 8 ball…\\
| Order of Finish by Yahoo\\
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|100.5 Bird|
|91.5 BK|
|90 Bull|
|88 Moon|
|81 Fatone|
|80 McNally|
|79.5 SPD|
|71.5 Tie Mike|
|71.5 Tie Vig|
|69.5 Wilson|
|57.5 Winston|
|55.5 Tom|

I laughed at Yahoo’s preseason ranking last year, but it had Fatty winning (he finished 2nd) and Mike in last (he finished last) so maybe there is something to this machine…Lets’ see what the commish thinks and what answers you guys have for us:\\
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As always I am just dealing with your team as of the draft with my takes; I can’t keep track if you picked up Johnny Hotnuts or slipped the tongue to Malcolm McVultureSave. I am also doing this before I read your response to any of my questions, so any connection is just serendipitous. So in Draft Order…\\
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**Mike**:\\
1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?\\
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I would give it 8 out of 10 on the “Volume We Were Playing Music At In The Back Room By The End Of The Night” scale. My draft had a good beat and I could dance to it.\\
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2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   \\
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Stoked about Kris Bryant in the 5th Round!!! But probably should have changed Kris Bryant in the 5th Round. Jay Vig threw me for a loop with the Longoria snag and I got itchy. I think there were fleas in the cabin. But Bryant was definitely a reaction to the talent (or lack there of) I feel like the position is carrying this year.\\
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3) Whose team are you most impressed with?\\
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Hard not to like your own team when you get a blessing from The Champ (no disrespect Moon) like the one I got after Round 3! But I like BK’s squad for sure, I like Bird’s, and I think Moon did a good job of balancing after the pitch-pitch 1-2 (much respect Moon).\\
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4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4?\\
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Well, are phones are much better. I mean much better. And I think we’re all actually getting better looking, if that’s possible.\\
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That’s about it.\\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting?\\
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Extenuation circumstances notwithstanding, I think it’s always helpful to be in the room. You get to read those moments in between the picks. Like the full effect of somebody getting snaked on someone they wanted – from SPD screaming “fuck” and throwing is hands up in the air, to Don Fatone briefly glancing up from his iPad and then looking back down as if nothing happened. Full range of emotions.\\
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You also get a sense of which players might slip a bit if a Rockem member is a bit, shall we say, overly imbibed?\\
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It’s usually me. That’s what you guys do, right?\\
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5) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped?\\
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A plane ride. That was all this year. And I think that will be all in future years. About 6 hrs is the perfect cram time for me. And if it was good enough for the Biology regents exam, it’s good enough now.\\
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Can I tell you dudes, having lots of dreams lately where I am taking tests I have not studied for… and… wait for it, I think I did well on them! Haha. Delusional? Sociopathic? I’m gonna go lie down.\\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors?\\
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I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\\
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Forget lying down, let’s dance!\\
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//Commish Take//:\\
How quickly this facking league changes, it was only 2 years ago, Mr. MR was at the top of the league eating steaks for free, then last year arrives and he is shoveling BBQ shit out of the sewage infested basement. Rockem is deadly, this year he tries his luck with the first pick and a fish at that. Trout leads his bats which looks to be a bit more powerful than past years OceansB squads as going 6 straight sticks is never something I thought I would see Mike do.\\
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A mix of young and exciting (Trout, Bryant, Machado) with old and reliable (Ortiz, Phillips, Gordon) should put him in the top of most Offensive categories. Only thing may be injuries, with Machado always hurt, Ellsbury in the same boat and the fact that the cubs could keep Bryant in the minors til September (but I doubt it)\\
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As far as the pitching…the waiting is the hardest part…\\
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ain’t it Mike? Having to sit tight made Ryniec a bit batty with Cole and Wood as a decent 1-2 but a freak out and Fernandez as a 3 is just goofy. The rest of the starters don’t inspire much excitement (Lynn, Cashner) and the bullpen is basically Papelbon if Miller stays setup man. Nothin much here to like, I guess if JoFer and Cain miraculous heal their Broken Wings like Lazarus he’s got a shot, other wise watch Mr.MR work the wire like a tightrope walker this year…and I can’t believe I never used the Mr. Mister nickname in any preview before…\\
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Prediction:\\
Middle 3rd- While nothing is glaring I think the pitching will desert Mike this year keeping him down, but he stopped reading after MMMmmm Dessert.\\
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**Moon**:\\
1)How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?\\
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The app projected me to win so I am going to win.\\
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2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   \\
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I hate Votto, but in the 5th he has massive value. So stoked it is. Springer in the 4th was not on any of my lists and I don't like young and unproven on a crappy team. Not sure where my head was at. Could of easily taken Nelson Cruz or Cespedes and had a better idea of what I was gonna get on better teams.\\
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3) Whose team are you most impressed with?\\
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Fatty's, but only because he drafted closers. That must have been really hard for him.\\
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4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4?\\
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If back to back drafts leads to back to back boats I'd say we neither improved or regressed. Just a solid constant and that's OK by me. Oh and this time we ordered pizza, that was smart. Lastly I like that LIC bar is in close proximity to LGA for the easy commute.\\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting?\\
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Has a champ ever drafted remotely? Nuff said. I'd say BK is required to draft remotely until he wins to test the theory.\\
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6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped?\\
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Airport baseball magazines fall short. Embrace the technology.\\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors?\\
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Dinners in Chicago. Book your flights now.\\
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//Commish Take//:\\
I sat at a draft table with the champ hoping some luck would rub off…well I figured better there than at Show Palace…No Alcohol? Please, cover up that snooch and feed me a beer or forget it. Anyways, Moon made headlines. No chance he takes Kershaw first round, so of course he does…and just to keep the train rolling he snags Max in the 2nd. Insane. No need to wait this year, Moon’s got your best staff…GROSS!\\
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We will start with pitching and get it out of the way, Kershaw, Scherzer 1-2. Book it. I for one did not have Max that high on my board, but you can’t fault the pick. Backing them up…ah who cares. Spooneybarger could be the third starter and this team will still dominate, but Gray and Ventura are both dope. The bullpen keeps it pumpin’ with Kimbrel Nathan and Boxberger all going to produce. Like a Gandalf Staff up in here…\\
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With all that you would think the O would be wimpy wimpy wimpy, but not so fast. I think Donaldson is going to crush the ball up in YYZ and see a huge bounce back for Votto in the cards as well. Holiday is old reliable, his MI’s are solid if not spectacular and with power fliers like Morse and Pearce he has a shot at late power. Here is Jay’s lynchpin though: Springer. If he has the season experts and Moon are projecting him too…look the fuck out. I’m not 100% solid, but even if he gives 80% of what he can….\\
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Prediction: Top 3rd- I hate to say it but I see Moon and his two big arms are flexing into the “Back To Back” conversation this year.\\
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**Vig**:\\
1)How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?\\
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I think I did OK. Like, a B minus\\
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2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   \\
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Super STOKED about Nelson Cruz. I want bangers with mashed this year.\\
Um, I may have NOT picked Strasburg as early\\
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3) Whose team are you most impressed with?\\
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BK and Moon\\
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4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4?\\
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I really, really like the feel of the LIC bar. It has everything that I want in a draft locale. It feels like home and at the same time you can get jagerbombs. Like, at home, I suppose, for some of us.\\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting?\\
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I think it helps to be there because you can really dig for nuggets rather than just plug needs. Although, perhaps nuggets are fool's gold\\
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6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped?\\
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I just looked at a bunch of espn drafts to see if anyone new was going early and tried to figure out why. I definitely knew I wanted solid sticks more than five tools or dominant pitchers. Things aren't as easy as they used to be ten years ago.\\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors?\\
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Please don't win\\
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Commish Take:\\
JV came in like a Lion and out like a Lamb for the draft turning his last few picks over to McNally…yeah that’s a smart move. Dipping never hurts though (take it from Casper your Friendly Ghost/Commish) and the draft motored along allowing Vig to call out most of his squad.\\
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Call Vig’s bat’s Napoleon because he has a lot of White Meat swingin’ for his fences…did I stretch that reference too far? Fuck it; //I believe in time we will shall find the Commish’s part in Rockem was much exaggerated anyhow.// \\
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What I mean is he has a lot of white guys who can bash, Goldie, Freeballs, Trumbombs, Longo, Pedie, Headley, McCann and Mauer (sounds like the Little Fucking Rascals). If this was real baseball I would hate this squad, but it is fantasy and he should put up great power adding Cruz and Baez to that list. Just don’t like how he kinda drafted all the same player. Usually JV loves his burners but no speed here, will need to trade for SB’s B!\\
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Arms are middle to upper of the road, with a good-great bullpen headlining as 3 allstar level closers are riding the Stallions (Holland, Rodney, Benoit) and the starters could make noise with his boy Iwakuma and my boy Gio, backing up Strasburg. Is this the year for SS. I believe so, but if not the arms on the guineas goes from good-great to meh and meh’er.\\
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Prediction- Top 3rd Not sure about this team being so one note, but every year one time confounds me and this year it is Vig.\\
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**Bull**:\\
1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?\\
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WWE HOF Scale\\
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Howard Finkle/Koko B Ware <——————————————> Macho Man/Bruno Sammartino\\
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Rakishi\\
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(//Commish note: Formatting fucked up but you get Bull's Drift if not here you go://)\\
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2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   \\
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Chris Sale - Surprised the guys that went before him.\\
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Matt Wieters- Maybe……I’m happy I got him but there were still some decent catchers that went undrafted\\
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3) Whose team are you most impressed with?\\
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Same answer every year. Wilson’s. I’ll just use the word Impressive to describe that team.\\
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4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4?\\
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The subways don’t go to Queens. Don likes to smoke indoors. Drafts need Lox\\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting?\\
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Huh?\\
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6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped?\\
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I printed out a shitload of rankings from yahoo…..then I looked at them. Team looks pretty sweet.\\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors?\\
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This is America and the rich get richer.\\
2015 is going to once again be the year of a 2 time, 3 time or 4 time champ!\\
Dinner’s being chosen by Mike, BK, Moon or Bull\\
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Commish Take:\\
We do get older but certain things stay the same and Bull’s love for MigCab is one of them, last year he grabbed him first over Trout and this year he takes him above Abreu, McCutchen and Stanton. The Tequila Swiggin’ Big Swinger from Venezuela (hell Detroit must look like paradise) will anchor his bats again and with a questionable supporting cast he is going to need to sober up and return to MVP form…which I actually think he will.\\
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Those other bats I am not so sure about are as follows; Kipnis, Oye Como Va, Dickerson and Calhoun. A lot of one good year and a load of crap in those players careers. Having Rendon and Hanley there could conceivably offset those picks, but you know injuries. Rendon hurting and Hanley going to be hurting t-minus any day now. Blah…lets look at his arms….\\
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Sale is the main attraction here and with damn good reason the kid is amazing. I think he is going to be one of the three best arms in the league until his arm literally falls off, what a bizarre motion. I love the Richards pick, I think once healthy (and I think it will be in April) he is lights out, so I will put him as a number 2, because Teheran is a Dictator run city and I will have no part of Iran. Fascists…\\
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WIth McGee and Doolittle it is like Bull picked from the Hospital this draft. but even without all the injuries I am not sure why Yahoo was high on this team…unless the robots were out drinking with Miggy, pre posting.\\
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Prediction- Middle Third, I would probably drop this squad to the bottom with all the question marks, but Bull is a hell of a manager.\\
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**SPD**:\\
1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)?\\
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If Drafts are like A Song of Ice and Fire, I would say I was no where near as good as A Storm of Swords, not as safe as the solid Game of Thrones, but much better then both A Feast For Crows or A Dance With Dragons…those were crizzzap. Guess that leaves me as A Clash Of Kings and if my team can be as resolute as Stannis we may have something…but it will probably be somehow lite on fire while in the water….\\
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2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?   \\
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Not sure the beginning of this draft could have gone better for me at least in my preseason strategy brain so I will say I love all of them and focus on two guys who I knew were coming to my team no matter what. Kennys Vargas and Taijuan Walker. I think both could be All-Stars this year and happy to have them, all though I am sure I will be a year too early on both….\\
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Changed? in the sober light of day, I would have fixed two starters. I was so locked on Lester I skipped Sale, and I think I might regret that one. On the later side, even though he is a good player and a hell of a looker, I would have skipped Werth and grabbed the next player taken off the board Richards. I drunkenly forgot I had him penciled in right around there then Bull grabbed him and I think he will be an ace and the injury concern is overblown. Sale/Richards seems sexier than Lester/Werth…and I’m all about the sexy.\\
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3) Whose team are you most impressed with?\\
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READ THE PREVIEW…oh wait you are…THANKS!\\
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4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4?\\
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What have we learned…This has become my new motto because a man needs a few:\\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting?\\
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It hurts so good. Obviously this is one of my favorite things in the world and I am so happy to have the best bunch of guys to do this with every year. I do think though removed from things I would probably draft a better team and hate myself for not making dumb drunken decisions. I would never trade a “better” draft for the experience.\\
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6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped?\\
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4 Keys to a good Rockem Pickem Day:

  - 127 Mock drafts
  - Playing out every scenario for first round picks
  - Committing wants/needs/players to memory so people “borrowing” material don’t snake
  - Building up an obscene tolerance so you can drink til 4am the night before, kick off Draft day at BillyMarks, then black out dancing at Beauty Bar.

Need to work more on #4 for next year. \\  \\  \\ 7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\  \\ About 25,000 words worth \\  \\  \\ __//**Now a Special Guest Preview from Jeffrey J Winston** //__  but before that Jeff… \\ {{http://theinquisitiveloon.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/al-swearengen.jpg?direct&300|external image al-swearengen.jpg?w=300&h=225}}Ok, get after it: \\  \\ First off, I’d like to start with a huge thank you to the hardest working man in showbiz / fantasy baseball – Shawn Donohue. From the bottom of my heart thank you for all that you do. T shirts, business cards, crazy trips, mining witty sheet quotes, and above all the full fledged balls out love, energy, and enthusiasm that you put into this fake baseball, stat collecting, cult club that we call Rockem Sockem. \\  \\ It’s one of the best things in my life (hands down!). It’s responsible for some of the most incredible and zany memories that I have. The same sentiment holds true on the amazingly varied friendships and bonds that have resulted from being a card-carrying member of Rockem Sockem since 2003. I fucking love this shit and I thank you first and foremost for that. \\  \\ Now onto your team… The first three picks are the embodiment of SEX. Locked up the corners and the first OF slot with the trio of Abreu, Harper, and Arenado. Color me amazed and jealous with those first three picks. Pure young ballsy upside and I love it. Unfortunately it’s the picks that follow that make me think you’re going have about as much luck getting your balls to first as your fourth pick Jon Lester does. \\  \\ The pursuit of sexy sex is a wonderful and crazy ride, but oh it’s a slippery Slopes. Reyes in the 5th screams in the face of the safe and sound counting stats you probably required more at this point more than a cougarish MI pick with as many miles in the Met’s doctor office as Reyes has. Rounding out your OF with Soler and Blackmon in the 7th and 8th? Tomas in the 10th comprising your 3rd Cuban refugee in the 1st ten picks? All together that puts you solidly in the territory of dropping your wedding ring down a vent in a racist ski bar, getting bitten by hooters waitresses in hotel room cage matches, or canoeing up river without a paddle in a las vegas bath tub. Pot Kettle Blackmon! Picks I love – Ardolis in the 6th, DeGrom in the 9th, Pederson in the 13th, Chinese Tapei Walker in the 20th. I’m trying to find other upside to discuss here, but I’m struggling. Please reread the fisrt paragraph after this commish! \\  \\ All in all – the corners should be tight, the bullpen is solidly anchored, the outfield might be lightning in a bottle and the staff has potential. Unfortunately I’m thinking too many things have to all go right to keep this banana boat from sinking. \\  \\ Prediction: Bottom third. \\  \\ Thanks Jeffe. Much love right back, here’s my thoughts: \\ Commish Prediction: Middle third, still love drafting too many question marks. \\  \\  \\ **Birdie**: \\ 1. 8 out of 10. \\ 2. Always avoided Tulo but liked that he wasn't taken that far into the second round. Just hope he stays healthy.Should have waited on Shields and took Chapman… \\ 3. Like the Commish's team.Solid young talent that if they produce to their expectations should give him his first legitimate league title. (just taking a stab, nothing but love for ya!) \\ 4. I think we have improved on the time it takes people to make picks when they are not there, although the quality of picks is a different story. regressed as we keep going to shitty strip clubs afterwards, next time I am headed straight to Lilly's \\ 5. definitely hurts as you do not get a feel for the "vibe" of the draft, plus no communal jagger bombs when you are by yourself. \\ 6. No prep this year, but I did take a Met so I guess that is good given the last time I did I won. \\ 7. Like the great Marky Mark once said "….if you ain't in it to win it then get the hell out!" \\ {{https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/E-dJHlpQnkHb2RQbTBmTjP-63ACbZY6830BaUeoO2tE3Em_kpUoH8oKN-1QxYzp9RhkZ4WCi7VJ5_Xm2Jf_iPx8K7KtF2GMITR8_tR02O8Zy5qMymfSJfw67-R1R8fK5dbLxkFE|external image E-dJHlpQnkHb2RQbTBmTjP-63ACbZY6830BaUeoO2tE3Em_kpUoH8oKN-1QxYzp9RhkZ4WCi7VJ5_Xm2Jf_iPx8K7KtF2GMITR8_tR02O8Zy5qMymfSJfw67-R1R8fK5dbLxkFE}}  \\
Commish Take: \\
The last few years Birdie seems the most business like at the draft, cool and outwardly calm, but I know his insides would put a whirling dervish to shame. \\
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Birdie’s squad is going to need those roller coasting feelings to all come together if he wants to eat for free and he took some risks in order to get there. On the bats side of things Giancarlo is no risk, he is a monopoly of power and will be fine, the big ? is obviously Tulo. I am actually a bit surprised Bird took him here, I thought he might fall far this year, but I guess not all of us have been burned by him yet…if he stays healt….blah blah blah, you know the deal. I actually see Prince bouncing back and Brantley slipping but with Panda bashing off the Monster in Boston, a solid catcher but I don’t see JD repeating those numbers. With a full Tulo, he could contend with a broken Tulo I see a long season for the Hamilton Drug Cartel… \\
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His arms took the more business like boring route. I don’t think they will be bad, but I don’t think they can be amazing, unless Big Game James channels 2011 and has 11 CG’s. Shit I would [[:2011|like to channel 2011]], that was a hell of a year…I think, they all blend at this point like a festering Jagerbomb. Cueto, Shields, Ryu, Liriano, Loshe I see middle of the road 5’s or 6’s for most of Birdie’s P stats. The back end continues the trend with, Robertson, Reed and Latroy..Keyrist he is STILL in the league? Ok how many players are still playing since we started this league 14 years ago? This is a trivia question….No google… Answer in McNally’s Preview… \\
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Prediction: Bottom Third. I think Birdie’s team could be fighting for free eats if Tulo is healthy…unfortunately Tulo is never healthy. \\
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**McNally**: \\ 1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? \\  \\ Meh. \\  \\ 2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed? \\  \\ I was happy to get Upton and Kluber. I wanted both of them. And Kazmir in the 20th round is pretty sweet? Not saying I’d change anything, but why do I always end up drafting Nick Markakis and then hating him all season? \\  \\ 3) Whose team are you most impressed with? \\  \\ I really don’t know. Fatone? BK? \\  \\ 4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4? \\  \\ I like the LIC bar draft room. Its perfect for us… And we learned a girl named Kim will answer to Stephanie all day if you tip her well. \\  \\ 5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting? \\  \\ It absolutely helps me. Sometimes I don’t know what’s going on in the draft when I am in the room. No way my attention span would hold up for the 8 hrs our drafts take if I wasn’t with you guys. \\  \\ 6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped? \\  \\ Preparation? I played a rock show with the [[https://angelsandvagabonds.bandcamp.com/|Angels & Vagabonds]] the night before the draft. I stayed out drinking post show until about 3am. I woke up and popped a Zantac and two Advil. I took an 11am boat ride in the rain to LIC which got me there about 11:15. I killed time by having coffee and toast at the Dorian diner while opening my fantasy magazine for the first time. I received a text from Birdie saying he and Fatone had just opened the bar. I smoked two cigarettes on a rainy walk to LIC Bar. I guess I’ll let you know in October if any of that helped… \\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\
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I love you all and I hope you’ll be buying me dinner this year. \\
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Commish Take: \\
It may have been a gift, but I am not sure in how many other drafts The Dread Pirate falls all the way to the 7th pick and by backing him up with the ageless wonder Beltre Donny Mac has really set a nice foundation for fantasy this year…now if he could do the same for his twisted sense of reality he would be on to something. \\
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Bats in bunches for Tangled Upton Blue, the team name himself is looking at showing peeps he is worth it in San Diego, Hamilton will help DMac win steals and if (please baby jesus) David Wright can prove me wrong and bounce back it would be fantastic (there’s that real life/fantasy life blur again). Having a solid backstop helps with Lucroy and the odds are good one of the NYC boys (Beltran or Duda) puts up 30….on draft day I wasn’t impressed but now those sticks look large. \\
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Across the field Don looked great with Kluber and Zimmerman topping things, and still does, although his squad would have looked really great with a healthy Wheeler. Kazmir went way later than projected and maybe Verlander can stop banging Kate Upton’s (wait is that where the name comes from?!?!) boobs, \\
throwing out his core, he could really help the sqaud. \\
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Like every year I have no idea what Don is doing in his bullpen, but Fatty almost won it last year with no closers so anything is possible…. \\
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Oh and to answer the trivia question posed in Birdie’s Preview, I am finding 11: Ichiro, A-rod, Buehrle, Latroy, Hudson, Colon, Burnett, Papi, J-Ro, Nathan, and most amazingly to me, Jamey Wright. I am guessing that I missed a couple of them..there are clearly more then I thought there would be. Outliers like Dickey who goes up and down…teehee! also you can add Zito to that mix if he gets a call up this year. \\
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Prediction: Top Third, McNally has a sneaky good squad here, wouldn’t be surprise to see him eat for free…well I would be surprised because it is, you know, McNally. \\
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**Tom**: \\ 1)How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? \\  \\ The room was very loud and I was experiencing pretty bad vertigo. Despite that, I drafted as well as I always do. Considering that I haven't won yet, I guess that's not so great. \\  \\ Is that a scale? \\  \\ 2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?    \\  \\ Stoked about Matt Harvey because why the fuck not? Tony Cingrani in the 16th was pretty stupid since Cincinnati moved him to the bullpen. In my defense they shouldn't have moved him to the goddamn bullpen! \\  \\ 3) Whose team are you most impressed with? \\  \\ I have to say, I like the Chanp's team again this year. And by Champ, I mean BK. I like how we were referring to Brian as the Champ all day. It's so clearly disrespectful to Moon…and that warms the cockles of my heart. \\  \\ Speaking of cockles, why does McNally still have Zack Wheeler? It's over, man. Let it go. \\  \\ 4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4? \\  \\ We have learned to book the spot before coyote season:[[http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/coyote-spotted-roof-long-island-city-bar-article-1.2167643|http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/coyote-spotted-roof-long-island-city-bar-article-1.2167643]] \\
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We have also learned that Mike does what he wants. Is there a questionnaire that doesn't reference that? \\
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5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting? \\
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Not being there sure doesn't help Wilson! Yeesh. \\
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6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped? \\
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I tried not to accidentally walk into traffic. I didn't, so it helped. \\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\
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I can't wait to see who jumps the gun and takes Kris Bryant off of waivers by accident. \\
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Also, this is the part where Vig says how much he loves us. \\
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Commish Take: \\
Where as I feel Jay Vig drafted all the same dudes on his squad (big dumb meat) I think Tommy G fielded the best real baseball team…but this is fantasy and I am not sure how that is going to turn out. Actually I got a suspicion: \\
{{http://38.media.tumblr.com/4f18d0690a93d75c7c042a292a0211b7/tumblr_inline_nmwkavSyI21rbra2d_500.gif?direct&|external image tumblr_inline_nmwkavSyI21rbra2d_500.gif}} \\
//(Ha! Slight detour seriously Bill Cosby drugged and raped women for literally decades and it took a third rate comedian to do one joke for the man to finally get called out on it?!?! Seriously what the fuck is that?!?! Anyways…)// \\  \\ On the bats front there is more of a focus on average and all around skill then power (outside of Bautista and Frazier if he can do it again). Cano, V-Mart, Kemp (adjusted for being in SD), Granderson are the norm with sides of speed like Cain Revere and Santana mixed in. Gattis could add some needed pop if he gets a full run in ASStroville, and that later flyer Pompey may just be huge. Tom’s got the early lead in Steals as well…but with his neck and dizzy spells, he should probably do as little running as possible. \\ {{http://www.mikethefanboy.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/giphy1.gif?direct&|external image giphy1.gif}} \\ Over across the diamond the Galbowski has one of the few teams whose Pen outweighs his starters with Allen, Storen and Perkins all looking good for 30+ saves. The big deal Holyfield is The Dark Knight himself Matt Harvey. If he returns to almost as good as he was there is no doubt Tom got him at a steal, but with the rest of his starters he will need him to be amazing. Cobb and Archer may get 5 wins total on Tampa, while Cingrani and Salazar are huge potential guys with lots of preseason questions (//COMMISH EDIT: Looks worse now, both sent down pre opening day//). Ian Kennedy could be a good late round steal but I see a lot of movement on the wire for the Rollins Tone in Rockem 14…. \\  \\ Prediction: Bottom 3rd, I also see them falling short, I don’t think steals and saves win Tom the Eets a boat, but who knows… \\  \\ **BK**: \\ 1) On a scale of Simpsons' references, I will rate my draft a Mojo the Monkey — "Meh." \\ It was "supposed to sweeping the floors and cleaning the gutters, but now it just lies there struggling to breathe." \\ [[https://www.simpsonsworld.com/video/312299587964/episode/299672131928|https://www.simpsonsworld.com/video/312299587964/episode/299672131928]] \\
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2) Stoked: Mookie Betts. His name's Mookie; killing it in spring; MI position; loaded lineup; didn't reach too far for him. \\
If he tanks, replace with Xander Bogarts. His name's Xander; solid spring; MI position; loaded lineup; didn't reach too far for him.  \\
(One of them has to work out, right?….Right!?) \\
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Changed: The Round 9-10 swing: Devin Mesoraco/Trevor Rosenthal - \\
Don't hate either player, but I had promised myself to punt on Catcher and wait on Closers. There's a handful of bats I wish I had taken there. \\
But, I put Altuve in this answer last year, so what the fuck do I know about this fickle, fickle, fantasy frustration? \\
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3) Most impressed with I think the youth movement may get the monkey off Shawn's back and the Mojo back in NOLA. \\
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4) Since our last back-to-back draft locale? \\
Less clever with our economics since then - we got more value for our dollar with the kegs instead of paying for an open bar where we consistently drink the cheapest beer on the menu. \\
But much savvier drafters as a group. \\
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5) Boiler room draft - help/hurt? \\
I think it hurts my drafting: \\
I choose not to carry a laptop/iPad while I travel, so it's tougher to find a contingency plan when the draft-plan inevitably dissipates; \\
I normally wouldn't be doing Jagerbombs and whiskey shots alone at home (not on Saturdays, anyway), so the late rounds might be less of an angry haze where I throw the full draft result list into the fireplace. \\
That said, it is one of the many facets that make Rock'em a life-important experience. Viva the live-in-person-draft! \\
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6) Prep: \\
I'll read 'expert articles' as an escape from grading essays somewhere around February. Watch MLB network for real baseball angles and eye-tests. \\
Copy the Yahoo list and finagle to my own liking during the week leading to draft. \\
I did two mock drafts, but why bother? Bautista; Rizzo; Harvey; Arenado; C. Davis; Kris Bryant…..all should be on my team by mock standards. \\
It all helped me know who's whom, but the results…………..Meh. \\
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7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\
Maybe I'll choose for dinner to be at my house this year. \\
Helen admitted to "missing the boat," by which she may mean a longing to have the trophy back in the house, or figuratively referring to her lost opportunities since locking up with me. \\
If the former is true, we'll welcome it back to its most comfortable dock. If the latter….well, come to my place and party for a fortnight, boys! \\
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Commish Take: \\
The Champ is Here! (Wait BK Didn’t win last year?!? Of course he did…he wins every year). \\
{{http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-the-champ-is-here-13.png?direct&|external image keep-calm-the-champ-is-here-13.png}} \\
BK the man with more Eets a Boats then anyone, the man who eats free like he is an underpaid teacher, support 34 women in his house just keeps rocking and this years squad looks no different. Balanced, formidable, and enough question marks to make him manage his balls off, BK’s gotta like C-Town in 2015, but what does the Commish think? \\
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Well since I am writing this you will know in a minute or two. I would have guessed he flipped the first two picks but either way he has latin pop and speed, the way that pervert likes it. His other bats All can contribute in lots of categories, CarGonzoBeans, Kinsler, Harrison, all the way down to Souza and Arismendy. Lots of 6 category talent here. The issue that may trip up C-town on the bats side is his Boston duo of Betts and Xander. Both could be great, but with playing time up in the air and not the longest of track records BK may be looking for some help. \\
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With the arms, BK seems covered on all fronts as well, Price and Wainwright as a one-two is about as solid as you can get (minus Kershaw/Scherzer) and Hamels as a three is mega even with the trade rumors. The bullpen of Koji and Rosenthal, is not flashy but suitable and with a move or Gregerson fulfilling promise could be grand…god damn it Brian…I can’t even think of funny shit to say previewing you anymore, I will move to professional jokers (See Below). \\
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Prediction: Top 3rd. Only thing that will keep BK from free eats are injuries….please G-d/Yahweh/Buddha/Satan/Joe Pesci let there be injuries.Joe Pesci? Yes, Joe Pesci: \\
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**Wilson**: \\ 1)How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? \\  \\ I feel like I would classify my draft as the early Middle Ages - a period defined by chaos, dour weather, and where humanity used rocks, talismans and unmixed wine to guide their major decisions. Unlike the High Middle Ages, in the early period there wasn't even the faintest embers of enlightenment, there was nothing suggesting that the glorious Renaissance was right around the corner. Yet very much like the Early Middle Ages, where grown men sat around dank stone buildings in burlap robes, killing each other over the question "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" my draft was very much like that. Only it was just one dude. Sitting in a damp basement. Not even wearing a complete outfit. Thinking about Troy Tulowitzki's knees. \\  \\ 2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?    \\  \\ I was thrilled with my selection of Felix Hernandez, because it's impossible to screw up the first round, and yet for the third time I nevertheless screwed up the first round, by drafting Felix Hernandez, whose arm is beginning to resemble a welded and discolored 1970s Datsun. \\  \\ 3) Whose team are you most impressed with? \\  \\ I don't know. Birdie was a very kind man to GChat the draft to me…that is the most consecutive words I've exchanged with another human being in the past 35 years. I probably owe him alimony now. But I was so taken aback by the sensory experience, as well as disoriented by the progression of the draft, that I'm not entirely certain which team I'm most impressed with. So some lucky Rockem'er just escaped the kiss of death that is my analytic blessing…but it's probably Birdie's team…because he had to draft his own team while also drafting mine, so that deserves some credit. \\  \\ 4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4? \\  \\ The thing I liked best about Rockem 3 and Rockem 4 at Winston's apartment is that my back didn't hurt every day and the general worldview veered closer toHighway 61 than the current Blood on the Tracks. But things have changed, and one's back pages notwithstanding, I find that with time one learns how to assess one's progress during the draft, and that actually enables modifications that will alter the outcome of the season while you are drafting. So if the first and second phases of your draft are a mess, the ghost of Tracy rearing her head, you can really turn it around (or anyway, ensure a 7th place finish rather than dead last). \\  \\ 5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting? \\  \\ I found the results to be disastrous. Granted, the LIC Bar was no checkered flag at Daytona last year, but remotely drafting from DC had approximately the same effect as doing anything else in DC. You take something of already questionable value and further remove it from logic. Suddenly the Rhinos look like the Peppermint Hippos. It is important to be in the boiler room, to get the pulse of the room and draft accordingly, and if you really screw up at least you can unscrupulously take Jay's cell phone, access his Apps, and offer yourself trades for the players you'd prefer to have while quietly humming Lady GaGa's "Born This Way." \\  \\ 6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped? \\  \\ I purchased the USA Today Fantasy Broad Sheet, other various magazines and potions, used the Internet, and I think I would have done as well from memory, except for that whole late snag of Carl Crawford. I wasn't sure he was still a viable professional athlete. \\  \\ 7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\  \\ Anyways. \\  \\ Commish Take: \\ Unfortunately Wilson couldn’t be with us this year in the fire pit that was the backyard of LIC bar but that gave Wilson the chance to really focus, study, and pick the best team poss…HAHAHA! I couldn’t even finish that sentence. Seriously I know Wilson is out of sorts and I should go easy on him but fuck that, look at this squad…. \\ {{http://31.media.tumblr.com/50724559d63a848f4e7376775a0f8109/tumblr_mrh34aLrIx1sfp1fio1_500.gif?direct&|external image tumblr_mrh34aLrIx1sfp1fio1_500.gif}} \\ You want offensive prowess? Keep searching tubby. The Full Monty went for position scarcity early with Altuve Posey Castro and umm Yelich?!? That means about 15 home runs combined. His BA and SB’s should be OK but I am not like the weight of Chief Beef’s Meat Stick… I do like the late Choo pick, and think he will rebound, but he needs to rebound like Moses Malone on steroids to get this team into Offensive contention. \\  \\ Moving to the arms, Soup took early and often with his focus obviously being SP’s. King Felix, Grienke and Fister are a solid 1-2-3 but with such deep pitching and Moon’s killer staff, this seems just OK rather than great. The early jump on closers fit his teams trend, but going with one year wonders Betances, Britton and Rondon is risky to say the facking least…Sorry Rocky Bomber, not much to get behind in Rhinoville this year. \\  \\ Prediction: Bottom 3rd, Neezer had a rough night and he hates the fucking Eagles man. \\  \\ **Winston**: \\ 1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create own scale)? \\  \\ On a scale of A&V shows, I’d rate it a St. Paddy’s gig. It feels jumbled, it’s not my favorite, and it certainly needs a better manager. \\  \\ 2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?    \\  \\ I was happy to come out of the wrap around with Rizzo and Jones. It’s no secret that I favor bats over arms early and I was happy both of these guys were still around allowing me to fill 1B and and OF slot with what I hope will both be top 10 guys come October. I wanted my first pitcher in rounds 5-7 but Samardzija in round 6 gave me a mini panic attack after I said it out loud. Why on earth did I \\ draft an Armenian cymbal company…? \\  \\ 3) Whose team are you most impressed with? \\  \\ Bull and McNally – which sounds like a strange pairing in any realm, even the realm of the 7 kingdoms, where I’m sure Bull would fit in just fine and McNally would not. Pair the GOT character with the RS member. I’ll start you off. Wilson is Tryion. \\  \\ 4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4? \\  \\ It’s the learning fucking nothing that keeps you young, Al. \\  \\ 5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting? \\  \\ You would think that zero distractions and no obligatory jager bombs would mean sure domination, but then again people who miss the draft don’t know anything to begin with, so there’s that! \\  \\ 6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped? \\  \\ This was the first time in my life I felt that work (mostly) and life (less so) made carving out time for draft preparation nearly impossible. I don’t even have a fucking dog or a wife (in that order). What the fuck am I gonna do when I’m 50 and I start having kids? Having said that, all the preparation goes right out the windows pretty quickly. \\  \\ 7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\  \\ Don’t you know there’s no devil, there’s just God when he’s drunk (thanks Tom!). \\  \\ Love yous all. \\  \\ Commish Take: \\ It scares the shit out of me how much Jeff and I are starting to think alike…in life it’s one thing, but when it comes to Fantasy Baseball it is another…wholly more important thing. The only comfort that sets my mind at ease is that this looks a ton like a team I would draft and recently I haven’t done so hot…. \\ {{https://ewvox.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/wire-omar.gif?direct&|external image wire-omar.gif}} \\ With the lumber, Winston swings large. Rizzo, Pujols, Davis, Bruce, Ozuna… he will be arguing with his larger self Vig when it comes to the HR Crown. \\  \\ My favorite moment of the draft? Jeff goin in solo for a Jameson Neat after reaching and taking Chris Davis in the 4th…it sums up our whole experience; during a draft day full of communal shots, laughs and mom jokes, Winston needed a legitimate few minutes to compose himself and gain control after the sobering thought of drafting a .196 hitter before the likes of Matt Harvey, Longoria, Prince, Papi, Springer or Sale….on the plus side his SB’s should be decent and offensively #’s will probably be there…Cheers: \\  \\  \\ Now #nopitch. Well some pitch, Shark has turned a corner I think too good-just-below-great starter, Carrasco could be great this year, but that is kind of where this SP train runs out of steam. Not a fan of Ross or Hutchinson yet, and his bullpen is comprised of a ton of cast offs and setup men looking to catch a break. Not the best recipe for free eats, but Winstoned don’t care, cue Ryniec “He Does What He Wants!” \\  \\ Prediction: Middle Third. He may need to make a lot of moves to push into contention, but Jeff knows how to manage fantasy and life hurdles very very well. \\  \\ **Fatone**: \\ 1) How would you rate your draft (feel free to create your own scale)? \\  \\ Leaving the draft I felt very good, maybe it was all smoke and beers. \\  \\ 2) One pick you were stoked about, One you should have changed?    \\  \\ I was stoked about Dee Gordon and having some solid production in the middle. Not stoked about the closers, not sure how that happened but we'll see how that plays out. Honestly that happened out of the blue and next year I probably have none again. I think this year I felt like by then my core offense was strong and I got strong SP cheap that made CL attractive. \\  \\ 3) Whose team are you most impressed with? \\  \\ Honestly, I'm only concerned with my team. \\  \\ 4) Year two in back to back drafts at LIC Bar, what have we improved upon, regressed at, learned from, during our first back to back draft spot since Winston’s Apartment in Rockem 3 and Rockem 4? \\  \\ Love the spot, it fits us so well. Going international is crazy talk but switching it up again to spring training territory is a great idea, thank you. \\  \\ 5) Interesting conversations regarding attending the draft, does being in the draft boiler room help or hurt your drafting? \\  \\ You lost me on this one, the only place to be is in the draft boiler room. \\  \\ 6) Describe your preparation for Rockem 14 and if it helped? \\  \\ This year I found very little time for preparation, like none really. But me and my draft app with a seat in the back of the room find quality time during draft day to put together a strong team. \\  \\ 7) Anything To Say to your competitors? \\  \\ Good luck, love you guys and this league. \\  \\ Commish Take: \\ It tickles my cockles that Puig went first round in Rockem this year. What a beautifully dumb bastard, hmm am I talking about Fatty or Puig? You Make The Call!. \\  \\  \\ I hadn’t realized it during the draft but are we going to have to just give Don all the Cali players now that he moved West? Seems like he has a boner for left coast players now…lets look deeper. \\  \\ Bats, under the Rhode Scholar Puig’s tutelage The ‘Zilla’s seem to be shooting for well rounded everywhere, great no where. Pence exemplifies this, but A-Gonz, is a rock, Gordon should swipe enough to make noise and I do see Zimmerman bouncing back. To my eyes the key to Fatty’s offense lies in R-Braun’s steroid shriveled testicles. If Braun returns close to what he was, I think Don makes a major run up the league, but I gotta say I think Polanco in Pittsburgh (First Time Caller Long Time Listener) finishes the season with better numbers than Braun, I have zero faith in Ryan and Don’s team takes a hit for that. \\ {{http://www.loud-mouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/steroids7.jpg.scaled500.jpg?direct&|external image steroids7.jpg.scaled500.jpg}} \\ For perhaps the first time ever Don made a concentrated effort to draft pitching of all kinds, the odd thing? The staff still looks kinda weak. Bumtickler is a beast, no doubting that, but is he better than Max, Price or Stras though? Tanaka brought Fatone within an eyelash of the Eeets A Boat last year, so I understand the love, but his arm is being held together by spit, rubber cement, and used rubbers found on the streets of the South Bronx. Pineda is unreal (for about 120 innings) while Huston Street and Casilla are both closers who just seem fragile to me. \\  \\ Prediction: Bottom Third. Fatty made his run last year, and he has ability to surprise, but I see this team a bit further back in the pack at years end. \\  \\ Overall Standings: \\ Here’s where I say the patented sentences and I seriously mean them (Except that we all know BK will probably win again): \\  \\

===== The league is waaaay too tight, injuries and breakout seasons are what will decide this year’s champ. =====

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===== It will come down to the final days like always and something weird will probably decide the title and who eats for free. =====

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===== I seriously believe anyone can win this thing…and the great thing is, someone will. =====

 \\  \\ So here are the overall predictions: \\ 12. Wilson \\ 11. Fatone \\ 10. Tom \\ 9. Bird \\ 7. TIE Bull with Winston \\ 6. Mike \\ 5. SPD \\ 4. Vig \\ 3. McNally \\ 2. BK \\ 1. Moon

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